Page 32 of The Refiner

“Wait a minute.” I grab the back of his t-shirt and tug. “You haven’t held her yet?”

The color had returned to Astor’s face this morning, but now, looking at him, he’s gone pale. “No, there wasn’t time,” he lies.

The nurse cuts me a look like she wants to inject a word or two, but instead, she smiles when Astor continues talking to her, “I think it’s best if Keagan holds her, just in case.”

I narrow my eyes. “Just in case what? You run?”

Every time I think he’s grown on me, he says something ridiculous and jumps back on my nerve train.

“Just in case I’m still unsteady,” he clarifies. “It’s safer for Tatum.”

“Oh! You picked out a name!” The nurse could blow up a balloon with all the hot air and enthusiasm she’s blown Astor’s way.

Astor ignores her, though, choosing to hold my gaze in a battle of wills. I know he’s lying. He seems perfectly fine and steady, but I can’t just call him out in a room of fangirls now, can I?

“Are you going to hold your niece, Keagan?”

Oh, hell no.

No, he did not just challenge me like I’m the one scared to hold her. This man has seen his daughter, but he hasn’t held her. Yeah, I’m not buying his lies. He’s not weak. Something else is stopping him from holding her, and it better not be doubt. My sister is not a liar, and I am not opposed to using that alley his friend mentioned earlier.

“Yes, I’ll hold my niece.” I offer him a saccharine smile. “If your friend could lead us to her.”

I am so over this parade for Dr. Potter. Did Piper get the same treatment as a woman? I bet not. Though, in all fairness, these women probably care nothing about the fact that Astor is a doctor but rather that they are getting a glimpse of him in gray sweatpants—probably a bucket list item they can now check off.

“Oh, sure, right this way.”

Astor sweeps his hand out to the side for me to go ahead of him, which annoys me, but not enough to argue. I don’t need his chivalry; I want his truth. What is up with him and my niece, and what in the fresh hell went down with him and my sister? Those are the only two things I need from this man. Not his sweet hugs and endless patience when I need to lash out at someone. I want answers.

But not right now.

Because, right now, the most beautiful girl in the world is lifted out of the bassinet. “Do you want to sit down and hold her?”

I shake my head at the nurse, seeing the dusting of dark hair peeking out from the little knitted hat. “No.” I can already feel the tears welling in my eyes. “Just give her to me.”

Why did I wait so long to see her?

The nurse places her in my arms, and I lift her to my face, inhaling her scent, drawing the very essence from her little body. “Piper was right,” I whisper to Astor, who seems to be frozen beside me. “She is the bringer of joy.”

I press my finger to her palm, and she grips it.Oh, Piper, she’s amazing.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” I look up and find Astor has moved to get a closer look.

I nod. “Piper would so hog her.” I try laughing, but it just comes out more like a gurgle. “You wouldn’t have to worry about weekends away. Piper wouldn’t share her with you anyway. I doubt she would even let me hold her.”

My sister would be enamored with this precious little girl. She would love her chubby cheeks and bow lips. She would dress her in smock dresses and spend her days just staring at the sheer perfection of her baby-ness.

“I thought,” I suck in a breath and force my gaze to stay on Astor, “I thought if there was any room for a miracle, you and this little one would be it.” I force down a sob and hold what I can form of a smile. “I’ve tried everything I know to get Piper to wake up and smack me, but she remains asleep, just like a sleeping princess.”

Astor steps forward, his arms reaching out until I step back. “I hoped she would be that one in a million case—that this was all an overreaction, and she would just wake up and wonder why she wasn’t wearing panties.” I shake my head. “But she’s not going to wake up, is she?”

Astor moves his head from side to side like it pains him. “No, sweetheart, she isn’t.”

“So, we’re doing the right thing by setting her free?”

I need someone to tell me this is okay, that this is what my sister wanted, even if I’m not totally sold on the idea.

“We’re doing the right thing,” he agrees. “We’re honoring her wishes.”

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