Page 62 of The Refiner

Astor hasn’t moved since I came into his room and closed the door behind me. He’s still sitting on his bed with a book in his hands.

“I want you,” I say firmly.

He shuts the book and sets it on the nightstand. “And what about what people will think?”

“They won’t know. You’re good at keeping secrets, right?”

Let’s not forget that. While Astor makes me come alive, he still harbors needed information about his relationship with my sister.

“I can keep a secret,” he says softly, standing and making his way to me. I push my back flat against the door, frozen by the heat in his eyes and the determined set to his jaw. “But I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. You deserve to know the truth.”

He pushes his fingers through my hair. There’s no denying that this attraction we’ve smothered between us has been flickering. All we needed was to light the fuse.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me today.” I breathe along his lips as they move closer to mine.

“You’re right,” he agrees, tilting his head, “I should have kissed you yesterday.”

I thought it could have been a fluke—a feeling that came on because of grief, but now, when Astor crushes his lips to mine, his tongue parting the seam of my mouth, that earlier feeling is amplified by a million. My knees weaken and I feel my body sliding down the door until Astor’s strong hands find my bottom and hoist me up to his waist.

“Wrap your legs around me.”

Oh no. Am I really not capable of remembering how this works or has Astor just rendered my body useless? I don’t think I want to know.

“Don’t drop me,” I whisper, searching for his lips again as my legs wrap around his waist, once again providing me an anchor.

“I won’t let you go, I promise.” One of his hands slides up my back, bringing the hem of my shirt with it. “Can I take this off?”

I nod, not giving myself time to change my mind.

It doesn’t matter what arrangement he and Piper had.

He said they weren’t together—they weren’t in love.

And for some strange reason, I believe him.

Astor moves us to his bed, single-handedly removing my shirt before my butt hits the mattress. “You sure you want to do this?”

I take a breath and sigh. “Can you not just take advantage of me like a regular guy? Must you ask me like a gentleman?”

The grin he flashes me would have sealed the deal if I wasn’t already sure I wanted to do this with him.

“I don’t want you to have any regrets.” He says all the right things, but his eyes say something totally different—something primal.

“I won’t regret it.” At least I really hope I don’t. I can’t be sure, though, since this is so unlike me.

He nods and takes a step forward, his palms going to my knees. “And when I tell you what happened between me and Piper, will you then?”

I shrug.

Their little promise or arrangement, whatever they want to call it, could be anything. I can’t promise not to get pissed off about something I don’t know yet. But what I can do is live in this bubble just a little while longer.

“I don’t want to talk about you and my sister right now. I want to ignore whatever happened between you two,” reaching out, I pull him by the waist of his sweatpants, “and focus on what’s happening between me and you.”

He tips his chin. “I can do that.”

We’ll deal with his promise later, but for now, he’s not my sister’s baby daddy or one-night stand.

He’s just… mine.

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