Page 73 of The Refiner

Alone time with Astor was nothing like I imagined.

“Seriously? You did this in college?”

His lips are slightly swollen from the intense make-out session we had in his driveway. “Why do you think I’m such a prude?”

I shrug, plucking the full syringe from his fingers. “I’ve just never met a man like you before.” Pressing the tip of the needle into the gummy bear like he showed me, I inject the vodka. “It confuses me sometimes.”

Before I can reach for the injected gummy, Astor swipes it and tosses it into his mouth, swallowing after only a couple chews. “Do I confuse you in a good way or—” He presses his lips to mine, and I need no coaxing to open, letting the taste of Astor and vodka flood my tastebuds.

Gah, I love the way my stomach flutters every time he’s inside me. Whether it’s his fingers, his tongue, or his cock, my body responds with a frenzy of feelings, sending my stomach tumbling over itself.

I’ve never felt this way before. Not with high school boyfriends or even that one dude in college that I allowed to take my virginity after a lackluster conversation at a frat party. I never once considered intimacy or a man’s touch as something pleasurable.

Being with a man has never been an enjoyable experience. I didn’t want to hear them talk or placate me with lies of how they could make my body feel good. It was all a ruse to get what they wanted—a quick poke.

But Astor… His touch feels like it’s part of me—like it’s a necessary process for things to run smoothly. Things like feeling wanted, cherished, and revered. Astor caressing me like he has all day, is nothing short of a long, naked hug.

I want him to do it again. And again. And again.

What is wrong with me?

A small voice inside my head says something that I already know. I might be falling in love with Dr. Potter.

I don’t know how I should feel about that. Am I betraying my sister by falling in love with her daughter’s father? Am I making these feelings up because I’m lonely and Astor has been here for me in my darkest hour?

There are so many reasons, other than love, that I could be feeling this way.

But one thing is for sure, I enjoy the feeling.

I enjoy being the object of Astor’s time and affection.

I adore his touch and the way he looks at me when I’m talking. The way he’ll stop what he’s doing and absorb every word as if he’s committing it to memory.

“Are you not going to answer me?” He nips at my ear and chills break out along my arms but then again, maybe the chills are from only being in my bra and underwear.

Arching my back, I give him better access to more sensitive parts of my neck. “Depends. Is this your way of convincing me?”

He chuckles. “Hmm… maybe we should try a different tactic, then?”

He pulls back, and I whimper. “I thought we were spending quality time together?”

“We are.” I watch with rapt fascination as he picks up the syringe and injects another gummy bear with the precision of a surgeon.

“I don’t know if anyone ever told you this, but it’s super sexy when you do that.” I mean, a compliment is a compliment, no matter how weird it might sound.

Astor snorts. “Filling candy is sexy? I think I have the definition of sexy all wrong.”

I narrow my eyes as he walks over confidently and, if possible, even more alluring. “It’s the syringe and how you insert it like you’re…” Okay, well, now I really am making it weird.

Astor’s brows arch. “Like I’m what? Making love?”

I shrug, trying to seem unimpressed. “Or just sticking your dick in slowly because you’re too old to pound it fast anymore.”

I knew those were fighting—I mean fucking—words when I said them. So, when Astor snatches me off the island, and flips me over his shoulder, all I can do is laugh when he carries me into his bedroom and tosses me on the mattress like a rag doll.

“Slow, huh?” Those sexy sweatpants of his are off before I can even get my bearings. “I guess you’ll have to help an old man out and do all the work then.”

He pulls my underwear off (we both knew where the vodka would take us) in one go, leaving me bare from the waist down.

---