Page 95 of The Refiner

Kenny cocks a brow. “Have you told him that?”

I shake my head, swirling the crushed ice. I asked Astor for time. I couldn’t very well turn around eight miles down the road after leaving him and tell him I missed him. That still wouldn’t have given me the answer I needed, which I still don’t have.

There’s no question I love the man, but how long will that last? Forever? Until the grief wears off? No one knows but time.

“He sent me a video the other day,” I tell Kenny instead. “Tater-bug was smiling and making this weird gargling noise.” The memory brings a smile to my face. “He said she was trying to say daddy.” I chuckle. “She was likely pooping.” But Dr. Dreamy felt sure she was trying to talk to him. It was so dang precious and made my heart ache in my chest.

“Has he gone back to work yet?”

My stomach clenches. “No. Not until after the first of the year. He’s started interviewing nannies though.” Halle said she was unimpressed so far, but feels certain they will find the right person eventually.

“Are you about to cry?” Kenny sounds horrified at the thought.

“What? No.” I absolutely was. “I’m just feeling left out.”

“With nanny interviews?” I can tell Kenny is exasperated with me. It’s understandable. I’ve been nothing but a giant ball of emotion since I returned home, if I can even call it home anymore.

“I mean, I just thought I would be the one helping select a nanny, not Halle. I’ve been there nearly every day of Tatum’s life, and his assistant is helping him choose.” I shrug. “I know it’s irrational, but I just thought I would be included in making sure we weren’t leaving some crazy person in charge of our kid.”

I realize a minute too late that I said ‘our kid,’ when Kenny’s gasp is louder than the bar’s music. “Oh, girl. Do you hear yourself? You have claimed this man and this child. What are you still doing here?”

“It was a slip of the tongue,” I lie. “You made the margarita too strong.”

That perfectly tweezed brow lifts. “The margarita you’ve yet to drink.”

I sigh. “Okay, fine. The kid and her daddy are mine. Are you happy now?” I realize what a mess this situation has become. “But they shouldn’t be. They need a woman who will put them first always. They deserve someone who doesn’t need to prove herself with a career title.”

“And that’s not you?”

I stare down at the lime-flavored drink. “I’m sitting here, aren’t I? I’m the one who left them for my job.” And time. But they both go hand in hand. I needed the time to decide if this truly was love, and if it was, could we do a long-distance thing while I worked atGameTales?

Kenny reaches behind the bar and slides me a bottled water instead. “News flash, Keys, darling. Millions of people have families and work day jobs. You don’t have to just choose one anymore.”

“I do, though.GameTaleswon’t accept me working three hours away, and I can’t expect Astor to leave his practice. He’s saving lives for goodness’ sakes.”

“Have you asked him if he’d be willing to, though? His answer might surprise you.”

I feel my eyes narrowing. “No, I haven’t asked him because I do know what he’d say. The man spends his life sacrificing for others. He would have no problem sacrificing for me. Hell, he spent half a year doing charity work! He would move for me.” I’m sure of it.

The line that I’m sure Kenny tries reducing with numerous face creams, forms on his forehead. “And why is this a problem?”

He just doesn’t get it. “Because, Kenny, you didn’t see those kids at the Children’s Hospital when Astor was around. He comes alive when he’s giving of himself. He matters to Bloomfield. He matters to his brothers and patients. I can’t take him away from them just because I want to prove to Archer that I can pitch a story better than Ass Face.”

Kenny nods, but I can tell he still doesn’t get it.

“I can’t ask him to do that, Kenny. I can’t take away Tatum’s family. His brothers are so involved in her life. I can’t take that from them.”

“Don’t you think he should have an opinion on the matter, though?”

“No, Kenny. I don’t. Astor is exactly where he should be.”

“So then it’s you.”

Has Kenny always been this exhausting? “What are you talking about?”

Kenny hops up on the bar like the terrible employee he is. “You said Astor was exactly where he’s supposed to be. But you hate it here. I think it’s reasonable to think that you’re the one in the wrong place.” He tucks a wayward lock of hair behind my ear. “As much as I’d miss you, I’d rather know you were happy. And you are happy with them, boo. Don’t let Archer take away the best thing to have ever happened to you.”

“Archer isn’t. I want to be here. I want to work atGameTalesand prove myself.”

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