Page 96 of The Refiner

Kenny flashes me a sad smile. “Prove yourself to who? Archer, the man who thinks you’re better suited scrubbing toilets. The man who likely hired you to avoid a lawsuit. Haven’t you noticed you’re the only woman working atGameTales? The rest are men. Do you think Archer gave you a chance because he believed in you? Men like Archer don’t believe in anyone but themselves. Stop being loyal to someone who is not loyal to you.”

I could punch Kenny in the face.

“How can you say that to me?” I shove him away from me and stand. “You’re supposed to be my friend!”

Kenny jumps down and rounds the bar, gripping my shoulders in his hands. “I am your friend, and as your friend, I would be doing you a disservice by not telling you that staying here and working for Archer proves nothing. You claim that you don’t need a man’s approval, but that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re giving up a man who loves you, and a little girl who adores you, because Archer has made you believe that you can’t have it all.”

He shakes me. “But you can have it all, Keys! Do you think Archer gives up his Friday afternoon golf days or his summers in Venice with his wife and kids? No! He doesn’t. He has it all.”

“But he’s a man. Men have it easier than women.”

“The reason he has it so easy, Keys, is because of you! He knows you’ll work holidays and weekends. He knows you’ll put in as many hours as it takes to get the job done. You create the time he has for his family, and why?” Kenny clenches his jaw, his anger exploding out of him in a violent burst of words. “Because he’s so good to you?” He shakes his head and scoffs. “Wake up, Keys. This isn’t about proving to the world that you’re equal to men. Trust me, they already know. But what’s more important to you… proving a point to people who already know or being happy? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather go home to a husband and my precious daughter than go home, hoping my hard work was noticed.”

Tears streak down my face as his words sink in. “Tatum isn’t my daughter.”

“Of course she is, Keagan! Fuck! Stop doing this to yourself! Was Piper your mom or sister?”

I think about all the times Piper played both roles, taking pictures at my graduation and then tossing back drinks at the after-party with me. “She was both,” I admit tearfully.

Like Kenny knows I can’t take any more, he pulls me in for a hug. “And you can be too. Be Tatum’s mom and her crazy Aunt Keys. You don’t have to be one or the other—just be happy, sweetheart. You aren’t happy here. You’ve never been happy atGameTales. Don’t be a martyr. You know all too well that life is short. Take yours by the balls. Screw society norms, create your own way. Find your happiness and don’t let anyone take it from you. You’ve given so much to this world, darling. It’s time to reap what you’ve sown.”

My hands fist Kenny’s shirt as I hold him close. “What if Astor doesn’t want a life with me now? I asked him for time because I wasn’t sure.”

“Trust me, he wants a life with you, and newsflash, Keys…Relationships don’t come with guarantees. If you’re waiting on assurances that you’ll never get hurt, you’ll die alone.”

Is that what I’m doing? Protecting myself? Leaving Astor before he crushes the last piece of my heart?

“Look, Keys,” Kenny pushes me back, so he can look me in the eyes. “Do you love the man?”

It’s a simple question. One I haven’t wanted to admit. “Yes, I love him.”

“Then stop making excuses. Stop trying to prove yourself to all the wrong people. The only opinions that matter are the two people waiting on your call tonight.”

I can’t get Kenny’s words out of my head. Have I really been working hard for all the wrong people?

What am I asking? Of course, I have. I’ve fought so hard to prove myself to someone who already knows what I’m capable of and takes advantage of my determination. Maybe Kenny is right—okay, he’s right. Archer is never going to consider me an equal because narrow-minded people like him will never change. And while promoting change is admirable, giving up your life and happiness in the process isn’t.

I dial the number that now comes first on my favorites’ list. It only rings once before the screen reveals a familiar face of scruff. “Gramps,” I tease, “you have to hold the phone away from your face when we’re doing video calls.”

It takes a second before Astor rights the camera, replacing the scruff with an annoyed smirk. “I know how this works, but I was trying to keep one hand on Tatum while she’s on the changing table.”

“Uh, oh. You didn’t barf on her, did you?”

He must lean the phone against the wall because I can now see a wiggly girl and her smoking hot daddy in the screen. “See for yourself. She’s barf and poop free.” He seems very proud of himself.

I clap my hands and cheer, watching as Tatum’s legs start kicking with the excitement. “I’m so proud of you, Dr. Potter. You’re getting better at this whole poopy diaper thing!”

Astor rolls his eyes but grins. “I had to move her up in diaper size today. I guess I’ll take the twelve boxes of the smaller size to the hospital.”

My heart pauses. I’ve missed another milestone—a silly one, but a milestone, nonetheless. “Learn to keep size comments to yourself, Dr. Potter. Girls don’t appreciate it.”

Astor laughs and catches a baby foot, shoving it into footy pajamas. “Are you driving up in the morning? I thought we could stay up late playing Santa and Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve.”

The smile he wears should be enough to convince me to get in the car and drive the three hours to Bloomfield, but… “I can’t. Archer is making us work.”

His face falls, and I feel like a royal jackass. “But I’m taking my bag, so as soon as I get off, I’m heading your way.”

He slips Tatum’s other foot in the pajamas and zips her up. “We’ll wait up for you then.” I don’t have the heart to tell him that Tatum will remember nothing of her first Christmas, nor will she care if she has a plethora of toys around a tree that Santa supposedly brought. She’s only a few months old, she can’t even play with anything.

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