Page 95 of Not Quite Dead Yet

‘– Sophia just told me,’ Jet said, a lie of her own. But she was pretty sure she was right, that Sophia had been home, and Luke hadn’t. ‘Those grazes on your hands, you didn’t get them Friday morning. There’s photos of you at the fair, Luke, I’ve seen them. Your hands are fine. You must have hurt them after, sometime Friday night.’

‘While I was smashing your head in with a hammer?’ he asked, a laugh, just as empty.

‘I’m just asking.’

‘Well, don’t.’ Luke wiped his face, stubble hissing against his fingers. ‘You know it wasn’t me. You’re my sister, why would I want to kill you?’

Jet sat back. She could think of only one reason: if Luke knew about Dad’s plan to sell to Nell Jankowski, if getting rid of Jet was his only option.

Silence, too heavy, pressing down on Jet’s shoulders as she watched her brother, scoring his fingernail along the metal of his keys.

‘Is …’ Jet faltered, tried again. ‘Is getting Dad’s company really that important to you?’

Luke laughed, pressed the keys into his palm, little teeth leaving indents behind, marking him. ‘The most important. It’s literally the only thing that matters.’

‘Really?’ Jet asked, trying to find his eyes. ‘Like you’ve spent your whole life fixated on this one goal, on achieving this one thing to prove to everyone that you can. And when you have – when you finally get it – life can actually, really begin, and you’ll finally be happy? Like that?’

‘Yeah.’ Luke stared ahead. ‘Something like that.’

‘But do you think it will?’ Jet looked out the windshield too. ‘Make you happy?’

Luke thought about it, sucking in all the air, leaving none for Jet. Pushed it back out.

‘Yes, I do,’ he said. ‘It has to.’ He glanced over. ‘Why?’

Jet shrugged. ‘Just been thinking. About you and me, how we grew up. If we really understand whathappyis supposed to look like. Because of Emily, because of what happened. Always being compared to her, the things she was going to do. Happened so much that I wonder if we think that life is just about constantly comparing ourselves. To Emily, to each other, to everyone else. To prove something, to Dad, to Mom especially. Like we can be good enough too. But is that right? Is that what it’s all supposed to be about or …’ Jet trailed off. She didn’t know where that was going either, what came after theor, what other choice there was. It was a stupid thought, blood leaking into her brain, making her think stupid things.

‘No, I don’t think about that,’ Luke said, shutting her down, unbuckling his seatbelt, like he was finished with this conversation.

But Jet wasn’t, and the world revolved around her this week.

‘You know,’ she said, raising her voice, bringing him back in. ‘You know you’ve always said you would give Dad one of your kidneys?’

Luke nodded, something new in his eyes, shifting. ‘I would have given you one too.’

Jet smiled, too wide. ‘Lucky it’s my brain that’s killing me, because you really can only give awayonekidney, Luke.’

‘Right.’

‘Well,’ Jet said, ‘you might have to do that, for Dad, sooner rather than later. You can thank your wife for that.’

‘What are you talking about?’ He looked across at her.

‘Tell Sophia Jet said to ask about the Lotrel and the salt.’ She smiled. ‘Make sure you do – it’s a pretty funny story, actually.’

Jet leaned her left arm across herself, reaching for the door handle. ‘My right arm doesn’t work anymore,’ she explained, catching the confusion on Luke’s face, opening the door. ‘Aneurysm’s leaking. Means it’ll only be a few days, so …’

Jet stared out the open door, the wind picking up, howling as it trespassed inside the car.

She swung one leg out, hesitated, turned back.

‘Luke?’

‘Jet?’

If Luke knew about Dad’s plan to sell the company to Nell Jankowski, then that gave him motive, and Jet couldn’t write him off. Even though he was her brother, even though they grew up together, even though he was supposed to be her ally, even though no one had truly felt like an ally inside the war zone of 10 College Hill Road, after Emily died.

His reaction would tell Jet everything she needed to know.

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