Page 42 of Deception

“Soon.”

“I want to kiss my son.” The breathless statement makes my chest tighten. Before I allow myself to get caught up in my emotions, I settle into the small couch overlooking the floor-to-ceiling ocean view as I tell her about my day. It’s what we do when I’m not at home. Something we’ve always done, even when I was in Boston with my uncle.

Mama is possibly the only woman I’ve ever loved. The only one I’ll ever love and whose company and conversation I look forward to.

“You don’t like her, huh?”

Her laugh has me snapping back at her, “Stop it! She’s a pain in my ass. Stubborn…reckless… God, she’s fucking impo?—”

“Impossibly pretty?”

“Stop.”

“Okay, but I expect you to tell me about your dat?—”

“It’s not a date. I don’t date.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she laughs, and the sound is so great that I can’t help but smile.

It’s all short-lived though. Soon the laughter becomes a cough that has her pausing to catch her breath.

“Mama…”

Clearing her throat, she takes a moment before continuing with our conversation. “You know, your uncle is planning to visit soon. He’s bringing the kids too. We could do a big family dinner and invite everyone… Emin… Niko…” With another deep breath, she adds, “You know anyone else you might like there…”

“Seriously? The girl is not part of the family. Red isn’t one of us.”

Ignoring me completely, she goes on, “It could be just like old times. You know, like the dinners we used to have before—” She hiccups her statement to an unfinished close.

Before she got sick.Knowing that it always puts a downer on the conversation, she doesn’t like to point out the obvious.

“You need to rest, Mom.” I blow out a breath and quickly inhale another as she exhales down the line.

Unlike all the times we talk face to face, so close that I can smell her sweet tea–tinged breath, the only scent filling my lungs right now is Red’s. It’s just another thing that pushes me closer to insanity.

Swallowing down the water that pools in my mouth, I tell Mom, “Parties and dinners can wait.”

“Tomasz…luchik…I’m going to die. Whether or not you accept it.”

“Can you not?—”

“Even if the treatment works—”Which it won’t, I can hear her silent thought. “—eventually I will die, and I would like to do it with dignity and knowing that I’ve made the most of the time I was given.”

“The girl isn’t part of the family,” I remind her again, changing the conversation. It’s bad enough that my gut agrees with her comment. I don’t need my head to get clouded with my feelings over the matter too. My absurd idea of taking Red to dinner tonight is going to require my full attention so that things get no more complicated. Besides… “I told you, she’s a pain in my ass, and I fucking hate her.”

I hate her so much that I can’t get her off my mind. The thought of anyone but me hurting her frustrates me. I want to be the vacuum of her universe. I’ll be the black hole that obliterates her for good.

* * *

“Excuse me?”I glance up at the maid as she takes a step back, away from the table. “What did you say?”

Taking a puff of the cigar the manager brought over after seeing me to the table Anton reserved, I blow the smoke towards the ocean vista. The sand is a couple of steps below us, with the ocean close enough that the breeze carries the spray to us.

The woman swallows audibly, looking over at Anton. She’s scared…as she should be.

“I didn’t give her a choice. So, if you have to go back upstairs and drag her down here, you will.”

A petrified expression widens her eyes. Pure horror makes her skin pale in the golden sunset. She’s equally as scared of Red as she is of me. The realisation makes me laugh, the sound making her jump back a few feet.

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