Page 50 of Deception

Before I can stop myself, I lie beside her on the bed and tuck her into me. I know her body is sore and that I should probably leave her be, but I can’t help myself. The need to hold her consumes me as I wrap my arm around her and allow her tears to soak into my shirt.

“You found me,” she finally hiccups.

“Always, baby,” I whisper into her hair while my thumb strokes up and down her bicep.

“I thought I was going to die.”

As did I. Enough to pray, or at least consider praying. But I won’t tell her that. Right now, the only thing that matters is for her to relax and be glad that she’s alive. So instead, I tell her, “Not on my watch.”

“Why?”

The words swell in my throat, making it almost impossible to breathe through them. Nobody has ever made me feel this way. So out of control and so dependent on their existence. This girl is the only thing that has given me reason to stop. She makes me reckless and stupid because, for the first time, I feel like I want to let go of myself. Red makes me feel things that make me think outside of the here and now and the violence.

“You keep bringing me back to you,” she states gruffly. “Why? Why can’t you just let me go? Let me die?”

“Because I need you.” My snapped remark registers a little too late. “I need the abandon you bring me and…”

“And?”

“You’re mine. Nobody gets to touch, let alone hurt, what’s mine. Not even you.”

A short, gasped breath wracks her body. “You kept your word and came for me…”

“I started a fucking war because of you…because Sergi Sarapov hurt you, and I couldn’t let him live.” Flipping on top of her, I brace myself above her body. Like this, she feels smaller and so much more fragile. “I told you I would protect you, and you made it impossible for me to keep my fucking word. You made me a fucking liar, and I am so fucking mad. I want to protect you, and I want to hurt you. To punish you for running away from me…”

With her wet stare on mine, Lucy whispers, “Can’t you just hold me?”

“If that’s what you want,” I murmur back before she nods slowly.

“It’s what I need.”

It’s what we both need, and it’s what I do while she rests, and I breathe in her every exhale until I pass out beside her, never letting go.

20

LUCY

I’m cold just looking out of the window. The white blanket stretches as far as the eye can see. Tall conifers break up the view with a lake iced over in the middle. We’ve been holed up here long enough that the bruises are fading and the aches are subsiding.

Every night, I sit in the large polished concrete bath and watch the snow fall, wondering when Tomasz will retaliate. His anger is palpable in every look we share. It’s as if he’s waiting for me to heal so that he can break me again.

The sound of the dogs barking outside has me sitting up. Crossing my arms on the edge of the tub, I rest my chin on my arms and watch them roll around in the snow. Their coats become heavily coated before they shake off a flurry everywhere.

The shuffle behind me mutes my light chuckle. I know it’s him. Tomasz has a way of using up all the oxygen in the room. His presence is so powerful that it’s impossible to mistake him for anyone else.

“They love the snow,” I murmur, trying to ignore the punchy thrum of my heart that his narrowed gaze causes.

“Hardly surprising given they’re snow dogs.” The clipped tone of his words has me drawing myself closed.

With my knees tucked to my chest, I follow Tomasz’s every move as he pulls off his thick wool sweater and drops it on the heated, cobbled floor by his bare feet. Even they are something to behold. I don’t think there’s a single part of him that isn’t beautiful. From the olive tone of his skin to the tattoos that scroll over it, rippling with every pull and twist of hard muscle.

Thick forearms bulge as he unbuckles his belt and pulls it loose with a whip of the air that makes my pulse stutter. Tightening my arms around my legs, I try to calm the apprehension knotting tighter in my gut.

“Just get it over and done with,” I tell him while he stands over me with the belt coiled in his grasp. “Punish me already…”

A dark, part chuckle and part scoff vibrates from him while he licks over his teeth.

“You’re angry with me…I can feel it, and I can’t breathe past it.”

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