Page 64 of Deception

“No thanks to you.” The bitter words expel from somewhere deep inside me.

“Don’t be cross with me.”

“Cross?” A manic laugh bubbles from me. As happy as I am to see her, I also have a tonne of questions and a shitload of hurt and resentment that confuses all my senses. “Why would I be cross, Mother?”

“It’s not what you think, and I didn’t know that they wouldn’t come get you right away. Your father promised it was a failsafe.”

“For who? His career? Their old boys’ club? Because it sure as shit wasn’t for me. His fucking buddy sold me out!”

My tears burst from their dams into a torrential downpour that chokes me.

“And I’ll be dealing with him myself.” Taking my hand, she presses a multitude of kisses to it. “We’re going to get you home, and we’re going to fix this. We’re going to make it better.”

The meaning of Tomasz’s words sinks in. When I glance over at his mother, she continues smiling even though I’m being torn to pieces on the inside. I should be happier than ever right now. But all I can think is that if I don’t leave, I’m actively choosing this life. I’m choosing to be a ghost for the rest of my days.

If I leave…

The thought alone cripples me. Tomasz isn’t perfect, and we are miles away from being good for each other. We’re toxic. I bark and he bites. But he has taken care of me.

Anytime I’ve been hurt or in danger, he has been there. He’s never broken his promises to me.

Pulling away from Mum, I go to the sofa Luda is sitting on and sink beside her. She was kind to me today. Her love for her son is unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and the fact that she’s dying is a travesty. If anything will break Tomasz, it will be the day she takes her last breath.

“Nobody will stop you,” she whispers, patting my hand.

“Why now?” I ask between deep, steadying breaths. “Why is he giving me a choice now?”

Another smile, but there is no worded reply, even though it’s obvious she knows.

“Do you think he could ever love me?”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“I need him to love me. I need your son to need me.”

“Those questions can only be answered by you and Tomasz. Nobody else can see inside you to tell you the truth you’re looking for. But I will tell you this again—” She catches her breath. When she has readjusted herself and is settled again, Luda continues. “This life is dangerous and harder than you can imagine. You’ve seen nothing yet. However, it can be beautiful, and there is so much happiness to be found in it. Especially if you have a devoted person beside you. Marrying my son will make you a queen one day, and your children will want for nothing. They will have the world at their feet.”

This is the picture she painted for me earlier. One where family is all that matters. Where people will die for you because their loyalty is plated in love. It’s all I’ve ever wanted because it’s who I am. We aren’t all that different at all.

Looking back to my mother, I know my decision before the words have formed in my mouth or even fully computed in my head, because it’s etched in my heart. The answer is right there.

“I am home,” I say loud and clear so that there can be no question about it. “I’m marrying Tomasz.”

“But Lucy?—”

“You can stay,” I cut her off. Resting my hand over Luda’s, I lace our fingers together. I’ve never felt something so breakable in my grasp before. “Or you can go. But right now, I would like to find a dress, and if you want to help, I’d love that too.”

“If you go through with this, you’ll never be able to come home again.” It’s her turn to cry, and as angry as I still am about the way things happened, I try to comfort her the best I can.

“I told you, I am home. Tomasz risked everything to save me. His life and his family. He’s risked his entire world to keep me.”

“I’ll never see you again.”

“If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here.”

It’s the truth, and right now it means everything and more as my chest aches with the yearning to set eyes on him. Tomasz’s actions are the only evidence I need to justify my choice. There’s nowhere else I belong than here, with him. My heart is desperate to be close to his again. It’s screaming for him.

“We can make the most out of this, can’t we?”

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