Page 89 of Crashing Waves

“Why did you split up?” I asked as she turned off the light and led me to the staircase, just off the living room.

She looked for a moment like she didn’t want to reply as she fiddled with her fingers and left her gaze cast downward. But then, finally, she admitted, “There were a lot of reasons, I guess, but I think the biggest one was that I don’t think I ever really loved him.”

I frowned. “Laura, that’s awful.”

She nodded, laying her hand on the wooden banister. “Yes, it is.” She looked over her shoulder at me, raising a single finger. “But let me be clear: IthoughtI loved him.”

She began to ascend the staircase, each tread creaking with every step she took. I followed, watching her through a haze of awe and confusion and gratitude. So, so much gratitude.

And it was strange, and it was wonderful, and I thought,If I could just stay here, with her, maybe I won’t want to jump off that bridge after all.

“What made you realize you didn’t love him?” I boldly asked as we were nearing the top.

She didn’t say anything right away though. Instead, we both took up residence in the small landing that instantly made me feel like a giant in a dollhouse, especially standing beside her. God, had I always been this much bigger than her? Why hadn’t I remembered that?

Laura gestured toward the door ahead of us, kept slightly ajar. “That’s the only bathroom in the house. It’s tiny, and I feel like it’s just gonna get tinier as the girls get older. And right there”—she pointed to the dark room beside her with its door wide open—“is my daughters’ bedroom. And that”—she spun on her heel in the small landing, pointing to the door beside me—“ismyroom.”

It was the only closed-off room, and for that reason, it seemed sacred beside the others. I knew that, logically, if she had brought me up here, the invitation had already been laid on the table, waiting for me to open it. Yet I didn’t move an inch, hoping she’d take me in.

She stepped around me and pressed her back to the door’s raised panels, painted white, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I never felt for him the way he did for me,” she confessed, picking up where we’d left off. “He would go above and beyond for me; he would’ve given me the freakin’ moon if he could. But for me, most days, it felt like a chore just to sleep with him.”

She lifted her gaze to meet mine. “And don’t get me wrong. I’mnottalking shit about him. He’s a good man. He’s a good dad. I don’t hate him now, and I never will. But it was just impossible to love him when I had never given myself the time to stop loving someone else.”

My heart, cold and broken for so long, instantly warmed and swelled, like it’d been suddenly beckoned inside after years of living in the cold. “Me?”

Laura rolled her eyes and sniffed a little laugh. “Shut up, Max. You know the answer to that. You’vealwaysknown the answer to that, ever since we werekids, and I’m the idiot who could never turn that off, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how much Iknewyou’d never—"

“I love you,” I said, taking a step and pressing my body flush to hers. “Jesus, Laura, you have no idea how much I fuckingloveyou.”

She gasped, her breath stuttering as she stared ahead at my chest, and then her eyes danced over my body until they landed on mine once again. “W-what?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you back then. I-I wanted to. I almost did, but …” I lifted my hand and brushed my knuckles over her cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never said it. I’m sorry Ievermade you think—"

“Oh fuck, Max, shut up.”

She clasped my cheeks, standing on her toes to thrust her lips upward against mine. I inhaled sharply through my nose, taking in her scent as my lungs lost their ability to breathe the moment she made impact. She kissed me furiously,feverishly. All of her pent-up longing and frustration bubbled up to engulf my mouth with passion and need.

It took me half a second to catch up, to realize what was happening, but when I did, I sighed, the relief of coming home settling against my soul. My fingers tangled in her long, dark hair as I pressed her back to the door, returning the kiss with equal longing, and she fumbled with her hand until she found the doorknob, opening the door and sending us stumbling into the room. We laughed into each other’s mouth, giddiness and excitement pushing past our lips as we regained our footing, somehow never breaking this never-ending kiss.

Then, in the dark, she took me to her bed.

Not a word was spoken as she took off my shirt, and I took off hers. The light from the landing shone across the room, illuminating her eyes as they watched me watching her. As we took each other in. Reacquainting after all this time.God, it was all happening so fast, every moment ofthis night leading into the next swiftly, like dominoes falling into place. Her hands fell to my waist, mine to hers. We stripped each other from the burden of our clothing, and before long, we were both naked, baring our scars—new and old—to each other for the first time in so long …toolong.

Laura pulled me back to lie over her, and I hesitated. My eyes sought hers, silently begging for permission for something we hadn’t shared in what suddenly felt like a lifetime.

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this,” she clarified softly, her hand sliding over the side of my bearded face, down to my neck and shoulder. “I promise you, I do want this.”

“I just wantyou,” I whispered before pressing my lips back to hers and pushing forward with my hips.

I fit into her as perfectly as ever, and I reveled in the familiarity of her while being surrounded by the newness of being here in her bed, in her house, a place with no room for childish games and lack of commitment. We were adults now, and we moved with experience—the things we had learned from each other and from others. And while another man might’ve found a reason for envy there, I found none because, now, this was mine. For the first time maybe ever,shewas truly, without a doubt, mine, and as we approached a conjoined climax, I was more than ready to scream from the fucking rooftop that I was, body and heart and soul,hers.

God, I marveled in how sober I was, howhappy, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been either of those things, let alone at the same time. And after we regainedcontrol of our lungs, with tangled limbs and settled hearts, we fell into a restful sleep, my first in years and without the assistance of alcohol. We slept for what felt like months, the kind of sleep where you wondered what day it was the moment you cracked your lids open, and I glanced across the bed to find Laura looking back, the blankets tucked beneath her chin.

“Hi,” she whispered, seeming shy now in the light of day.

I rolled to lie parallel to her. “Hi.”

---