Page 30 of Liberating Lena

I must have drifted off because when next I opened my eyes, the sun had moved and I guessed it was mid-afternoon. My stomach rumbled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten since yesterday. I got to my feet and made my way back down, bypassing the lodge and heading to Ethan’s cabin. Would he be furious? I turned the corner and my nose hit a hard chest. “Ouch!”

“There you are. I’ve been worried sick, Lena, what’s going on?”

I wanted to be the brave Lena from last night and tell him, but my voice had fled. I tried to swallow down the lump building in my throat.

He looked pained, and desperate to know but he didn’t push, just patiently waited for me to speak. “He’s here,” I finally whispered. “Or nearby. Daniel.”

Ethan’s eyes narrow and go dark. “How close?”

“Porter’s Corner, I think. He came to the Ranch asking for me.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“But, Ethan?—”

“No. Listen. This is your space. And I will not let anyone rewrite that with fear. You’re mine now, and not just to love and share space with but to protect, cherish and honor.”

He was right, this was my space and as much as I would love him to shield me from the world, from Daniel, I knew what I needed to do. “I want him to see I’m not scared anymore.”

Ethan smiled. “That’s my brave girl, but you won’t go alone, Lena, I’ll be close enough to step in if you need it.” We headed to the lodge to eat and make a plan. Later that night I texted Daniel and told him where and at what time I’d meet him the next day.

He tried to take control of the conversation, but Ethan coached me on how to shut the attempt down and Daniel finally agreed. That night Ethan made love to me. It was another first for us, our motions not desperate and hurried, but calm, deliberate, melding us into one. I carried that feeling with me the next day when we left for Porter’s Corner.

The day was as beautiful as the one before as was every day since I’d arrived in Montana. The few miles passed with little to see but my mind was busy, affirming what I needed to say and how I needed to say it. I couldn’t show weakness or he’d sniff it out. As if sensing my unease, Ethan took my hand.

“Lena, it’s okay to play out your strategy, any smart businessperson would do that. But I think all you really need to do is stay in your power.”

“What does that mean and how do I do that?”

“When we get there, I’m going to sit in a place where you can see me. My presence will remind you of your self-worth, of the growth you’ve gone through, of the woman you’ve reclaimed. You are remarkable, beautiful, strong, smart, sexy as hell. You are also an amazing submissive. Don’t let him take that from you.”

He was right. I was all those things and more. I firmed my resolve as Ethan parked a block down from Porter’s Perk. He helped me out of the SUV.

“All of Rawhide is behind you, Lena. You have friends, and you are loved. Don’t forget that.”

Flashes of my time at Rawhide played on our short walk to the coffeeshop. I became hyperaware of the environment. The town seemed quiet today, hushed in expectation, mirroring myfeelings exactly. Sunlight spilled through the windows, painting long shadows where we passed. I was reminded of the battle of the OK Corral with my man at my side. It wouldn’t be this Lena dying today. No, it will be a farewell to the one person who’d taken everything from me that Ethan had restored.

We entered the coffee shop and I was thrilled he wasn’t here yet. Ethan took my order and I grabbed a seat facing out toward the restaurant’s interior, which would force Daniel to sit facing me, his back to where Ethan will be seated. I sat in my chair, holding my special coffee mixed with hot chocolate and cream. My fave. I didn’t know how Ethan managed to know this about me but he was a very observant man. I lifted my eyes to his across the restaurant and mouthed, “I love you.” He smiled and mouthed it back as the door opened behind him and Daniel stepped in.

He was immaculately dressed, as always. Cufflinks. Polished shoes. A mask of patience on his face with a current of control humming just beneath the surface. His smile was the same he always used–rehearsed charm, meant to unnerve.

“You look good, Lena. Radiant, even.”

“You look exactly the same,” I replied flatly.

He raised a brow, amused. “I never thought you’d end up at a place like Rawhide Ranch, publicly performing. Is that what you wanted?”

I smiled. “No. I wanted to disappear. But I got something much better. I learned how to live instead.”

His eyes narrowed and he steepled his fingers. “I heard you’ve been… unlearning. That’s the word they use now, right? As if the discipline I gave you was something to be ashamed of.”

I tried to stifle the laugh, but I couldn’t and it felt good to see the look of shock on his face. “It wasn’t discipline you gave me but control without care. Pain without purpose. I didn’t grow under you–I shrank.”

His mouth tightened. He was losing and didn’t like it. “You begged for structure. For rules. For something real. Don’t rewrite the narrative just because someone softer came along to tell you what you wanted to hear.”

My heart rate amped up and thudded in my chest. My gaze traveled to Ethan who nodded his head.I won’t back down.

“He didn’t tell me what I wanted. He gave me room to figure it out all by myself.”

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