Page 82 of Our Little Dove

Molly studies my face for a moment and squints as if she’s able to read my mind. “That was two hours ago, Alex. Whathappened? Why is your hair wet? What’s going on between the three of you? Did you sleep with them?” she asks, stepping aside to let me through my front door.

Yep, here it is. The questions I wanted to avoid.

Fuck.

How do I tell her about any of this without sounding like a lunatic?

Taking a deep breath, I walk past Molly into the living room, dropping my keys onto the coffee table. I can feel her eyes on me, burning with her questions before she locks the door and follows me, waiting for an explanation.

“Hello?” she urges when I don’t answer immediately.

I turn to face her, trying to muster up the courage to speak. “It’s complicated but yes,” I confess softly, watching as annoyance flickers across her face briefly before it is replaced by confusion.

“What the fuck, Lexi? They’ve done horrible things to you, or doesn’t that matter anymore? Ever since you met Fintan and Kieran, you’ve beendifferent, impulsive even,” Molly’s voice is filled with worry as she steps closer to me.

I run a hand through my still-damp hair, trying to gather my thoughts. How do I explain the whirlwind of emotions that have consumed me since meeting my two masked kidnappers? The instant connection, the tangled mess of feelings that have left me reeling ever since.

“I—fuck. I don’t know how to explain it, Molly. It’s complicated,” I say, avoiding her gaze as I focus instead on a small water spot on the coffee table.

Molly reaches out and gently places a hand on my arm, urging me to look at her. “Alex, you can tell me anything. I’m here for you, no matter what. Just talk to me,” she says softly.

I take a deep breath and meet her gaze, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I think…I think I might be falling forthem,” I whisper, feeling the weight of my confession hanging in the air between us.

My mind is reeling at Alex’s confession. My best friend thinks she’s in love with her kidnappers – the same men who assaulted her and recorded themselves doing it.

What the hell is she thinking? Is this some weird form of Stockholm syndrome? Do they have a twisted trauma bond or something?

“Are you serious? You are catching feelings?” I say in response to her insane confession.

“Is that fucked-up?” Alex asks as if wanting me to justify her feelings. I shake my head and before I can say anything, a text beeps through my phone and my heart launches into my throat when I seehisname pop up on the screen.

Joel:

I know it’s late, but I left some of my clothes at your apartment before the trip. Can we meet up at your place in the morning? Alone.

My heart hammers as I read over his text a few times. “Everything alright?” Alex asks as she steps closer and lets her eyes rake over the screen.

“I… I can’t do this. It’ll break my heart all over again if I see him,” I say, my voice cracking with pain.

I push past Alex and head towards the back door, needing to escape the sudden suffocating atmosphere of the room. As I step outside, the cool night air hits me, providing some much-needed clarity amidst the chaos swirling within me.

Alex tiptoes outside to join me after a few minutes. “Are you okay, M?” she asks as she places a gentle hand on my back.

“No, but I will be. Alex, I don’t think I can see him. It’s too soon. Too raw,” I breathe, trying to keep myself from crying.

“You know I would go in your place, but I don’t think he wants to see me after that phone call,” she says with a gentle tone, but I can hear the pain in her voice.

“Thanks, Lexi,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly. The embrace melting away some of the hurt I feel in my heart. “You want answers, right?” I ask with my head resting on her shoulder before I step away to look at her.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I will get them. Not from Joel anyway.”

I clear my throat and wipe away a tear that manages to slip free. “Come with me to meet him. You can stay in the apartment, and I’ll meet him in the hallway,” I suggest.

Alex’s eyes widen in surprise. “Are you sure? He will be pissed if he sees me, M,” she says softly. I nod and take a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling hands as I take out my phone and type out a response.

Fine. Tomorrow at 10 am.

As I hit send, a wave of doubt washes over me and the same seems to be plastered all over Alex’s face.

---