Page 97 of Our Little Dove

The three of us collapse in a heap on the bed, spent and satisfied. Kieran and Fintan look ready for the day while I feel like I need a few extra hours of shut eye.

Dreading my future water bill, I walk back to the bathroom and clean myself up once again before Kieran and Fintan follow suit.

After oursecondshower this morning, we walk back into my room in silence. I take out clean clothes from my dresser and giggle as I watch the boys pick up their clothing from the floor.

Kieran pulls on his clothes from the night before and sits on the edge of my bed, glancing at us with a satisfied smirk as he ties the laces of his boots. We both burst out laughing at the look on Fintan’s face when he steps into his jeans and picks up his soiled shirt beside the bed.

“Want me to wash that for you?” I laugh and he just glares at me for a moment. “Well, if you don’t mind,” he says in a sarcastic tone.

“Hey, you’re the one who gave it to us last night,” I muse as I take the balled-up fabric from him. “We should get you a t-shirt that says, ‘cum rag’ for next time,” I joke as I gather the sheets and head to the washing machine, Kieran’s laughter follows me down the hallway as I leave them in the bedroom.

“Iwould get that t-shirt specially made for you,” Kieran muses when his fit of laughter subsides. A sarcastic smile tugs at the corners of my mouth when I nod in his direction, but it quickly falters when reality snakes its way back into my psyche as the euphoria of ouractivitiesbegin to fade.

“This is weird, right?” I mutter, suddenly on edge as I look around the room with memories of the last few days replayingloudlyin my mind.

“What do you mean?” Kieran raises his brow as he leans back on his elbows, watching me pace up and down.

“How did we get here? We went from making content to being tortured for doing so, and now we are in the bedroom of the woman who turned our worlds upside down — Fucking and talking as if this is the most normal thing ever.”

Kieran’s expression perks up as he watches me, he almost looks nostalgic, but I don’t miss the flicker of concern that brightens the green of his eyes. “I know, it’s surreal,” he agrees in a silky tone. “We have something together. None of us can deny that. Maybe this isn’t supposed to make sense; it feels right, doesn’t it?”

He stands up, crossing the room to where I’m standing by the window, lost in my own thoughts. “It does, and that’s why it feels…” I mumble but he cuts me off before I can finish my thought.

“Why don’t we get breakfast started? Some food will do us good,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper as he leans in and places a kiss on my bare shoulder.

Usually, I am the one talking Kieran off the ledge and here he is, doing the same for me. I know Alex is poison but I’m as addicted as he is and I can’t help but drink her in with him.

I remain silent, nodding at his suggestion as I follow him out to the kitchen. He heads toward the fridge while I take a seat at the island, still letting my mind race with uneasy thoughts.

Why am I suddenly feeling whatever this is? This isn’t me. We should have stopped this days ago. This won’t end well.

Kieran smiles wide as he pulls a large pack of bacon and a carton of eggs from the fridge, placing them on the counter before searching the cabinets for Alex’s pans and utensils.

His expression quiets some of the thoughts in my head, and I can’t help but mirror the upward tilt of his lips as I watch him.

He finds what he is looking for and sets everything neatly next to the stovetop. I lower my gaze to my hands as I fidget, cracking my fingers one by one in my lap.

“Hey, get out of your head,” Kieran urges as he notices me stewing on my seat. “Want to cook the eggs?”

“Sure,” I say in an exhale and join him in front of the stove before Alex walks into the room.

“Aww, you didn’t have to cook,” Alex chimes as she joins us near the stove, peeking over to see what we are making. Her eyes flash with approval before she goes to sit at the island.

Her presence is both comforting and uncomfortable. It makesnofucking sense. I need to figure out what I am feeling and whyI’m feeling it. Maybe I need to get out of my head the way I used to – I need blood, scars and pain.

After we finish breakfast, I start loading the dishwasher while the boys walk out to the backyard to have a smoke. I can’t hear what they are talking about but Fintan has been unusually quiet since ourfirstshower while Kieran has been all smiles.

Something’s up. Kieran is usually broody and Fintan hardly ever keeps his thoughts to himself.

Deciding to find out what has gotten into them, I march over to the door and step outside. To no surprise, they stop talking when they hear me approach them.

“What’s going on?” I ask, crossing my arms. Fintan glances my way and shrugs as he takes a drag of his cigarette before blowing out the cloud of smoke. “Nothing,” he responds with a sigh that only adds to the sudden unease.

“We’re discussing the plan, Dove. This whole situation has all of us feeling a tad out of sorts, that’s all,” Kieran offers, flashing a look at Fintan.

Clearly, they are not so into the plan as I thought they were, which does nothing to ease the anxiety that is building inside me.

“You’re still helping me with Hush, right?” I ask, dropping my arms to my sides.

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