Page 88 of A Taste of Grace

“Thank you. I missed y’all.”

We held hands and rocked, grinning like we had been apart for months. He kissed me on the cheek a final time before returning his attention to the platform as the six praise team members sang Israel Houghton’s “Lord You are Good.” We clapped and sang right along with them, smiling and gesturing throughout the animated parts of the song where they instructed us to jump and praise the Lord.

Service seemed to move quicker than usual as I sat in anticipation of the moment Caleb would call me forward. His huge grin hadn’t left since I arrived.

“Praise the Lord, Saints.”

The congregants repeated the phrase as Caleb surveyed the packed sanctuary.

“The last time I invited this lovely woman to the platform, I announced my engagement. Sweetheart, will you join me?”

I rose as Caleb rushed to the lowest step of the platform. The congregants applauded, then laughed at how fast and attentiveCaleb was as he kissed my hand and inner wrist. We held hands on our way to our designated spot. Caleb stood by me, and I laid my paper on the glass lectern.

“I give honor to God and all the clergy at Haven of Hope and Blessings for allowing me to stand before this great congregation. I don’t take this opportunity for granted.” I turned to Caleb as I said my next words.

“I want to thank my husband, my friend, and my pastor, Caleb Stallings, for trusting me as I address the sheep he has been assigned to shepherd. We are all blessed to be led by such a generous man who sacrifices daily as he fulfills the call of God on his life.”

Caleb reached for my hand and kissed it again as a smattering of “Amens” filled the room. When it got silent again, I continued.

“Before I came to Farmerton, I appeared to have it together…just like I do today. But just because someone appears to have it together doesn’t mean they do. Behind the suits, makeup, and perfect diction could be the most broken person you’ve ever met. I was ‘up and out.’ I represented the elite, the educated with my Ph.D. and the privileged. But inside, I was broken and in need of a touch from the Master.” My voice quivered as the reality of my past hit me.

Caleb handed me the handkerchief from his pocket. I nodded and received it, clutching it in my left hand as my eyes found the next words I wanted to share.

“My mother died after I was a long-term and long-distance caregiver. As an only child, I missed my father, who transitioned five years ago. I was a Daddy’s girl, but I didn’t have time to grieve. I worked in a high-demand job in the federal government. For fifteen years, I committed my life to an agency that supported education programs at minority-serving institutions. We analyzed datasets that enhanced the lives of allpeople until a political agenda obliterated my division and my government job. I had no job, no father, and then no mother. I decided to end my life on my fortieth birthday.”

As I expected, gasps, “oh nos,” and “my Gods” filled the air. Caleb placed his arm behind me as I waited for the noise to die down. I felt the spirit of God move me as I went off script and placed my hand in Caleb’s.

“I didn’t die because some mysterious stranger saved me. I later discovered I had hit my head on a bridge, and that person pulled me away from danger. I was admitted to a hospital where I received the treatment my body, soul, and spirit needed. In the same way that angel rescued me,myCaleb reached out and saved me. He saw beyond my insecurities and imperfections. He remained patient as I learned how to trust and believe God loved me. Caleb held me up…exactly as he is doing right now…until I could stand on my own.”

Caleb kissed me on the cheek and embraced me tightly, showing everyone I belonged to him, and he belonged to me. He was a pastor to everyone else, but to me, he was my covering, God’s representation of His love for me on earth. Caleb reminded me how precious love with the right person could be.

Love.

“The church isn’t a place where many people always center mental wellness. I want to change that. We need counseling for the generational trauma we have all experienced in this country. My commitment is to be there for others who feel alone and don’t know how to keep their minds in perfect peace. As a woman with a heart for education and learning, I want to uplift our community. Everyone deserves to be seen and heard, especially those who are labeled strong and resilient. Authenticity and care are what I bring to you, my new family. Thank you.”

Everyone stood to their feet and shouted and clapped. I felt their love in every way. When they quieted down again, I stepped back to the mic and stood by Caleb, holding his hand and looking directly into his eyes.

“Pastor C, you asked me a very specific question before I left for my trip. I told you I would find out the answer when I was away. As an act of faith regarding our future, I’m sharing our good news before God andourcongregation.” I placed my hand over my stomach and smiled. “The answer is yes.”

My enthusiastic, emotional, beloved Caleb dropped to his knees and raised his hands in praise before placing his hands over my belly. He kissed my stomach through the soft fabric of my dress. I held his head next to me and bent to hold him as tears fell from my eyes. When he composed himself, he rose and kissed my lips and hugged me tightly, murmuring “I love you” repeatedly across my lips and in my ear.

“I love you, too.”

Much like the day we announced our engagement, the congregation went wild as they realized what I was talking about.

Caleb picked up the microphone and signaled for everyone to calm down. He stepped up to the lectern as I took a step back.

“I’d like to pray a blessing over my unborn child.” He turned his head my way. “And my lovely wife.”

He extended his hand to me again and held it as members of the clergy stood and extended their hands toward us. The organist played a slow, melodious tune that stirred my spirit. Caleb turned on his cordless microphone and lifted my hands before placing his hands firmly on my stomach. When he anointed my forehead with oil, I closed my eyes. Caleb’s powerful voice met my ears.

“Gracious Father, thank you for the gift You have sent this house in the form of Dr. Gracelyn Tolliver Stallings.Please reward my beloved wife for her humility, courage, and obedience as she shared her testimony with all of us. May she be a role model for those who have suffered in silence and who haven’t had the courage to share their dark thoughts and fears. We release an anointing on her to minister to the brokenhearted and speak truth where darkness has reigned. We cast out all hindrances to her calling. I declare that this child will unite this congregation and represent the best of both of us. May Grace have a blessed pregnancy with no complications. Protect our family and strengthen it as we await this precious gift from God. In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.”

“Amen,” the congregation echoed with loud cheers and applause.

I dabbed tears that wouldn’t stop flowing as Caleb held me in his arms and rocked me back and forth like a baby. When I composed myself, I stepped back and returned to my seat. After a selection, Caleb ministered the word, which confirmed this was exactly where I needed to be.

Thank God for second chances.

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