Page 127 of Captive Prize

She hesitated.

Just for a moment.

Like she didn’t actually want to leave.

Like she couldn’t believe I was giving in.

Part of me couldn’t believe it either.

But I seemed to do a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do—for her.

CHAPTER 30

ZOYA

Istared out the window, my arms crossed tightly, my body curled in the direction of the door. I didn’t really see the outside world as we flew past it. Everything was a wet, dreary blur.

There was too much going on in my head, too many racing thoughts, too many doubts, and so much pain.

The car felt so small with Roman in the driver's seat. I was surrounded by his aroma, by his warmth, and there was no escaping it.

Part of me didn’t want to escape it. It wanted me to bask in it, absorb it, memorize it so I could be comforted by memories of him for the rest of my life.

He would move on eventually. There was no way a man so handsome, strong, and passionate would stay single for long. He would find someone to give him the life he deserved.

I wouldn’t move on from Roman. I would only have my memories to keep me warm at night. That was a sacrifice I was willing to make for his happiness.

My heart pounded in my chest, the words to beg him to stop, to turn around and take me back on the tip of my tongue.

But I couldn’t say them.

I was doing the right thing. It hurt more than I thought possible. My chest ached, my head pounded, and my throat was dry. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I refused to let them spill down my face.

Roman had barely said a word since we left the estate. Not that I wanted him to talk, not when every second in his presence made it harder to breathe.

Lightning cracked in the sky and the rain started pouring down, the world looking like how I felt. Dark, gray, and completely bleak.

I doubted I would ever see sunshine again. Without Roman in my life, I knew cold detachment would be my sole emotion.

Roman was the only person I had ever met who made me feel something other than cold, angry, or indifferent. He had brought me to life, and because he had given me that gift, even though it was brief, I had to give him this. It was the only way.

I had to give him his freedom from me.

I told myself over and over that I wasn’t waiting for him to stop me. That I didn’t care if he stayed silent. If he let me leave without even a fight, then clearly, I really was making the right choice because he agreed, too.

Gregor had asked me why, as I handed everything over to him. He asked me why I was turning my back on his cousin, and I told him the truth. All of it.

I could never give him the life he wanted, the one he deserved.

The wives had been right. Roman was going to make an excellent father someday. I just wasn’t going to be the mother of his children.

Just thinking about that twisted the knife deeper in my gut, and the tears burned hotter behind my eyes. I couldn’t let them fall, even as he was letting me go.

I lied to myself over and over.

No, I wasn’t hurting.

This was what I wanted.

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