But on those sleepless nights where I lay awake, the Grishina grimoire tucked beneath my pillow, all I could think about was how it must feel to be that awful little Stormshade baby. To be sodotedon and loved.

To be soperfect.

I would throw the covers off and slip beneath the floorboards, losing myself to my spells.

It felt as if they were all I had.

THIRTEEN YEARS OLD

As it turns out, Zion and Annelisedidallow me to increase the amount of time I was training with the king’s army. Instead of once-a-month travel to Akra, they agreed to allow me to travel every other week to train in the academy if I would continue my studies in Siraleth as well. The trip often left me exhausted, not wanting to spend any extra time studying and simply falling into bed by the time I returned to the cottage. I was losing at least three days to travel each time I went, if not more.

I slowly increased the amount of time spent at the academy training in Akra versus studying at home in Siraleth. But I wasn’t concerned, and neither were my parents. I needed to nurture my superior intelligence, both scholastically and magically.

The only nights I didn’t fall into bed exhausted were the nights that I would meet up with Malec. I had met him during ourtraining sessions for the army in the academy at the palace. He was two years older than me, which had all the other girls in my class jealous.

He had luscious black hair that he wore tied at the nape of his neck. His skin was tanned and honed, evident of all the long hours spent in the training rooms and on the practice fields. He lived in Prins and traveled to and from the castle, just as I did. We often made the journey together. When he turned sixteen and graduated from the academy, he would move to Akra full time. I had no intention of being so far away from him.

I planned to move to Akra full time this next year.

It wasn’t as if there was anything for me at the cottage, anyway.

I would sneak out of the window at the back of the cottage, dropping the six feet down to the ground. I would meet Malec halfway between Siraleth and Prins at one of the bodies of water there, nestled between the trees. It was a small lake, and the setting was quite romantic beneath the high Siraleth moon.

Zion and Annelise had no idea I had been sneaking out. This had to be the third week in a row I had slipped out and avoided their notice. I followed the moon as my guide to the alcove of trees where we met, and sure enough, he was already there waiting for me.

I rushed into his arms and he scooped me up, spinning me. He pulled back enough to gaze into my eyes.

“Ocean blue,” he murmured.

My eyes had darkened more significantly in the last year, but they still weren’t black like Cirilla and Persephone’s had been. He placed a chaste kiss against my cheek, but I was craving more. I grasped the back of his head, pulling his mouth down toward mine.

Malec had been my first kiss.

The other girls in class were jealous I had an older boyfriend to begin with, and it didn’t help that he was handsome and at the top of our class. He was a Stormshade, and while I initially had my reservations about that, he had proved to be quite powerful.

He made for a great sparring partner.

He responded to my urgency eagerly, pulling me across his lap as he sat atop a fallen tree that spilled over the water’s edge. With only the moonlight shining down on us, I couldn’t help but think about the future for us. If we might get married one day. He slipped his arm around my back, pulling my body against his. I let him, falling into him as the kiss deepened.

When his other hand slipped under the hem of my tunic, running up my bare stomach, I tensed. His fingers ran over the trim of my bra.

He had never touched me like this before.

We had a couple of heated make out sessions, and though I was more advanced in every other area for my age…I wasn’t sure I was ready for this yet. When his hand slipped beneath the hem of my bra, I tried to pull away. I shook my head back and forth, but he pulled me back against him, capturing my mouth once more with his.

The butterflies that had been bouncing in my stomach moments ago turned sour, and I pressed my hands against his shoulders, pushing him back harder this time.

“Donika?” He strained back enough to peer down at me, a question in his eyes.

He didn’t remove the hand from under my shirt. Quite the opposite in fact. He pushed that hand farther up, grazing my hardened nipple with his thumb.

I reared back, slapping his hand away. I narrowed my eyes at him as he gripped my wrist, pulling me closer once more.

“STOP!” I cried, my shadows snaking out, grasping his hand and wrenching it behind his back.

“Donika, stop! That hurts!”

“I’m supposed to stop whenyouask? What about whenIask?” I cried, stepping further away from him into the shadows of the trees.