Page 10 of Let's Get Textual

Zach: We’ll see, won’t we?

Me: Do you do this with everyone? Climb inside their heads and psych them out?

Zach: Is that what’s happening? What exactly am I doing that’s wigging you out?

Me: Now my stupid brain says, “YOU’RE BORING!” And you’re over here like, “When I’m bored, it’s bye-bye.” So you’re going to let me get all attached and then BOOM, rip that rug right out from under me, HUH?

Zach: Are you finished?

Me: I think so.

Me: Sorry. Sometimes I get a little crazy.

Zach: A little? I couldn’t tell.

Me: Will you hold it against me?

Zach: Absolutely I will.

Me: Are you into anything weird? You seem like the type…

Zach: Are YOUtrying to start a sexting convo?

Me: Omg. That DID sound super pervy.

Me: I meant, like, weird hobbies. I assumed we were on the same page here. Come on, Zach, you should know all this by now. We’re practically best friends.

Zach: You’re right. Total screw-up on my part.

Zach: My hobbies include working, working some more, and a video game marathon every now and then.

Me: So…you have no life?

Zach: Hey, whoa! I didn’t say that.

Me: You didn’t have to.

Zach: And, pray tell, what are YOUR oh-so-incredible hobbies?

Me: Well, if you must know, I enjoy…knitting.

Zach: And you say I’M the one with no life.

Zach: Are you secretly 80 or something?

Me: I AM NOT 80! I enjoy it. It’s cathartic.

Zach: What kind of things do you knit?

Me: Blankets. Hats. Socks. Potholders.

Zach: POTHOLDERS?! Wow. I’m sold.

Me: You know what? I’ll knit you something extra special and send you a pic. Give me two hours.

Zach: I’m waiting with bated breath.

Zach: Are you still alive or did you drown in a sea of yarn?

---