Page 104 of Let's Get Textual

“He said, ‘I’m Jack. I’m here because I smell like ass and my family is sick of my shit. My wife’s dead and so am I. That’s all I have.’”

My heart crumbles at the words, but I listen with rapt attention as Jack picks the story back up.

“I take a seat and we go through a few more introductions. I’m barely hanging on to reality and can’t pay a lick of attention. Then she”—he nods his head toward Rose—“saunters up there, and all hell breaks loose.”

“Stop it. It wasn’tthatawful.”

“You snotted all over the podium, and me. It was horrific.”

“Well if you hadn’t—”

“Shh! You’ll ruin the best part. Anyway, she’s up there and says, ‘My name is Rose.’” A shit-eating grin breaks out across his face. “And I yell, ‘There was room on that board!’”

“And I burst into tears.”

“Snot is flying everywhere and she rushes off the stage and out the door. I jump to my feet and race after her to find her sitting in the middle of the parking lot, sobbing into the quiet night. So, I wrap my arm around her and let her wipe her boogers all over me.”

Rose huffs. “It wasn’t that bad!”

“Right, babe. Sure. Once I have her settled down, I ask her if she wants to go out and grab an ice cream with me. She holds my stare and says, ‘There was no way I was sharing that chunk of door with a jackass like you.’”

“And the rest, as they say, is history.”

“You jump,” Jack says.

“I jump,” Rose finishes.

They stand there smiling at one another like fools, love shining so bright in their eyes. It’s the most romantic moment I have ever witnessed.

“I think I’m going to puke,” Zach says.

“I think I’m going to cry. That is the saddest, sweetest story I have ever heard.”

Jack slaps his knee. “Enough of the boo-hooin’. Tell me about you, Delia. You’re a student, yes?”

“I am. I’m in my senior year, journalism major.”

“And how’s that panning out for you? Any leads for when you graduate?”

I slide my eyes Zach’s way. “There may be something I’m interested in.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Jack asks.

“One, an older brother. He’s a teacher on the other side of town, where I live.”

“What does he teach?”

“Middle school math. He loves it.”

“I used to want to be a teacher,” Zach says.

“Really?”

He nods. “I would have hadsomuch fun giving those turds homework.”

“I bet you’d have all the girls fawning over you with those sexy glasses of yours.” I slap my hand over my mouth, my eyes shooting to Jack. “Oh crap. Sorry,” I mutter.

Jack laughs. “Please, honey, he gets his looks from me, and I ain’t no troll.”

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