Page 129 of Let's Get Textual

“Why didyou insist on wearing a neon green shirt? We’re aiming for sneaky.”

I’m decked out in black from head to toe.

She isn’t.

“You didn’t tell me that!” she hisses.

“It’s common knowledge that when you try to burglarize a place, you wearblack,like the night, so you blend in, not neon freakin’ green.”

She pulls at her bright shirt. “I’ll have you know this is pastel, not neon.”

“Same thing.”

“Twototallydifferent things.”

“Shh! Lower your voice.”

“We are literally sitting inside your car down the road from his house. Why do we need to whisper right now?”

“Because we need to stay in character!”

She mutters under her breath and I reach over and pinch her.

“Ow! You bitch!”

“Shh!”

“Oh my god. Can we get on with this already?”

“Fine. Now you remember the plan, yes?”

“I’ll knock on the door and seduce your sexy nerd of a boyfriend while you break into the goat’s bedroom,” she says.

“No, no seducing.”

“You sure? I thought you said seduce.”

“I will pinch you again.”

She scoots as far away as she can. “No seducing—noted. Let’s go.”

We exit the car and I tiptoe off toward the back side of the neighborhood.

“You don’t look even an ounce inconspicuous!” she shouts as she climbs into the driver’s seat.

“I hate you!” I flip her the bird as I continue making my way to a stranger’s back yard.

I sneak to the edge, right along the fence blocking the woods behind their houses. My heart is beating so loud I’m afraid it’s going to rouse people from sleep.

I can’t believe I’m about to steal a goat.

The things we do for love, right?

Creeping along, I make sure to check that Zoe and I are at the same points. She slinks along in the car, waiting for me to give her the signal that I’m in place.

I can see from here that she’s dancing along to something on the radio.

Only Zoe.

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