Page 14 of Let's Get Textual

Zach: Oh, well, okay then. I was not expecting that answer.

Me: I wasn’t expecting to have to sit through this painful show.

Zach: Do you want to build a…

Me: SNOWMAN. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A SNOWMAN.

Zach: No. I hit send too soon. Stop it.

Zach: AS I WAS SAYING…build a tiny house or an elaborate tree house?

Me: Are you literally the devil? Do you have horns and hooves and evil minions?

Zach: What did I do now?

Me: 1. I have acrophobia, fear of heights. 2. I’m claustrophobic. 3. ARE YOU THE DAMN DEVIL?!

Zach: *dies of laughter*

Zach: How in the hell did I manage to unknowingly hit on your two greatest fears at the same time?

Me: Because you’re evil incarnate.

Zach: I’m not even sorry. *dies again*

Zach: Distraction tactic—what’s your favorite kind of cereal?

Me: Cap’n Crunch. Hurts so good. Yours?

Zach: Lucky Charms. Because just like me, they’re magically delicious.

Me: *stares*

Zach: Fine, fine. It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I just wanted to use that cheesy line.

Me: Did you even say it with a straight face?

Zach: Hell no.

Zach: Okay, what’s one place you’d love to visit?

Me: Easy. Alaska.

Zach: Are you a winter woman?

Me: Kind of. I’m more of a fall gal. I’m slightly obsessed with Halloween.

Zach: No.

Me: Yes?

Zach: That’s my favorite holiday. Ever. Fuck birthdays and Christmas and presents. I want Halloween. Give me spooky and candy any damn day.

Me: We’re a match made in heaven.

Me: Please tell me you dress up.

Zach: I was The Green Arrow last year. You?

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