Page 25 of Let's Get Textual

Zach: I’m sending you a picture anyway.

Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

I’m scaredas hell to push the download button—I mean, it could be a dick pic or something. I don’t think Zach is a douchebag, but you never know.

Screw it.

I bite my lip as I watch the circle spin and the image comes through.

“Awww!”

Me: YOU SENT ME A PICTURE OF A SMILING GOAT!

Me: You’re officially my favorite person ever.

Zach: Told you I was cute. ;-)

Me: How did you know they were my weakness?

Me: Also, will you please buy me one?

Zach: 1. EVERYONE loves smiling baby goats. That’s just science. 2. No.

Me: Rebuttal… 1. Excellent point. 2. I think you spelled yes wrong. Y-E-S.

Zach: N-O.

Me: I knitted you a damn PENIS POTHOLDER. Least you could do to repay me for my kindness is to buy me a baby goat. Don’t be a jerk, Zach. No one likes those.

Zach: Speaking of those potholders…when am I getting those? We live close. We could always meet…

Me: You think you’re so slick.

Zach: Aren’t I?

Me: No.

Zach: Well?

Me: I’ll consider it, but later. I still have to ensure you’re not a creeper.

Zach: You’ll knit a man potholders but won’t give them to him? Who’s the jerk now?

Me: Buy me that baby goat and we have a deal.

Zach: You play a tough hand, Delia.

Me: Question is, will you win this round, or will I?

Zach: I just thought of something.

Me: Congratulations!

Zach: We should “accidentally” meet up and you can “accidentally” give me those potholders.

Me: Using quotes doesn’t make your scheme not a scheme. Cheater!

Zach: Well, I never…

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