Page 26 of Let's Get Textual

Me: Nice try, bucko.

Zach: I’ll break you down eventually. I WILL be the winner of this battle.

Me: Yeah, yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.

Zach: I’m sending you a picture. It is NOT a dick pick. Also, DO NOT FUCKING JUDGE ME. Okay?

Me: First, thank you for not sending me pictures of your wiener. I appreciate it. Second, we’ll see. Third, IT IS SIX AM ON A SUNDAY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? GO TO SLEEP.

Zach: Oh shit! Did I wake you?

Me: No. Yes…but also no. I can’t sleep.

Zach: Well you’re going to be UP after you see this. ;-)

Me: Did you just try to make a boner joke and forget I can’t get boners because I HAVE A VAGINA?

Zach: It’s early. Stop judging me!

Zach: You ready?

Me: As I’ll ever be.

Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Me: WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU FIND THAT?!

Zach: The flea market. They sell them there.

Me: YOU BOUGHT ME A SMILING BABY GOAT?

Zach: No, I bought ME a smiling baby goat.

Me: So…you bought me one?

Zach: Goaty is MINE.

Me: I just spit my coffee all over the kitchen. You named your goat GOATY? That’s dumb. We’re changing that.

Zach: Can you come up with something better?

Me: Literally anything is better than Goaty.

Me: Casper?

Me: Nah. Vanilla Swirl.

Me: NO WAIT! MARSHMALLOW!

Zach: Are you hungry?

Me: Starving. I’m about to cook breakfast.

Zach: Explains the food-themed names. Though I do like Marshmallow…hmm…

Me: It’s the PERFECT name. We can even buy a dark brown one and a tan one and name them Graham Cracker and Milk Chocolate.

Zach: Did you just create a s’more out of my future goats?

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