Page 30 of Let's Get Textual

Me: That right arm appears to be a little bigger than the left. Hmm… *taps chin*

Zach: That’s my gaming mouse arm.

Me: And the nerd hits keep on coming.

Zach: How about this…you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

Me: My what?

Zach: I don’t know. Anything.

Zach: Come on, Delia. Let’s get textual.

Me: Did you just…

Me: I can’t right now. CANNOT EVEN.

Zach: You love that I supply you with endless witty banter and say stupid shit. Come on, admit it—you like it.

Me: I do not!

Me: *whispers* I really do.

Zach: BUSTED!

Zach: Now, you going to send a pic or what?

Me: No faces, right?

Zach: No, because we’re not ruining the surprise.

Me: Fine. One moment.

Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Zach: YOUR FEET?!

Me: Is that not what you wanted? Oh, my bad. I assumed that was what one did while sexting.

Zach: Some people are super into it, and whatever, that’s their thing, but no. GOOD LORD, NO.

Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Me: Omg. Who painted your toenails?!

Zach: My roommate has a son who is super into nail polish right now, so I let him paint my toes for me.

Me: I have tears in my eyes. You’re amazing.

Me: Does the kiddo spend a lot of time there?

Zach: Every other weekend. He’s conked out in my bed with Marshmallow right now. They’re best friends.

Zach: How did we go from talking about sexting to talking about kids? I feel ripped off.

Me: It was the feet.

Zach: Be honest…did you save THAT pic for the spank bank?

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