Page 33 of Let's Get Textual

Me: I’m great with blow jobs.

Zach: HOLY SHIT. I laughed so loud I farted and scared our baby goat.

Me: OUR baby goat, huh? I see what you did there…

Me: Oh no—what if we stop talking? What happens with Marshmallow? Or his brothers? HOW WILL I EVER GET TO SEE MY BABY AGAIN?! *cries*

Zach: You won’t. *evil laughter*

Me: ZACH!

Zach: DELIA!

Me: You’re sassy today.

Zach: Aren’t you supposed to be being productive or some shit?

Me: Or some shit.

Seven

“Ihave a date tonight.” Zoe announces this like it’s something new. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

“Who is the unlucky lad this time?”

“Lucky. And it’s Shep.”

“Like,theShep?”

A mischievous grin takes over her face. “Yes.”

“Clark? Shep Clark? On the baseball team with Caleb, Shep?”

She nods, her head bobbing up and down quickly, the grin widening across her cheeks. “Yep.”

“Um…wow.Wow. Are you sure? I mean, he’s Shep—theShep.”

“Can you please stop talking about him like he’s a god or something?”

“Heisa god!”

“He’s a mere mortal who happens to know how to hit a baseball, big deal.”

“Big deal,” I mutter. “She saidbig deal.”

“I can hear you.”

“Yeah, yeah, big deal.”

A whoosh alerts me of the pillow being lobbed at my head just in time for me to sidestep her assault.

She rests her hands on her hips, pursing her lips. “Be nice, Delia.”

“Or what, Zoe?” I toss back, mirroring her pose.

“I’ll cut you.”

Her voice is so sweet, it’s almost chilling. Then again, I know Zoe, and Zoe can’t even cut a pizza.

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