Page 41 of Let's Get Textual

“I didn’t ditch you, Robbie.”

“You did. You ditched us for your dick.”

“I amnottouching my dick!”

I have a feeling that last statement was for Robbieandme.

“Not right now, but you’re going to. I live with you—Iknowthings about you.”

Another groan from Zach. “This is the most awkward moment of my life.”

“Does he not know I’m here?” I question. Zach doesn’t answer, and I’m assuming his buddy has no clue we’re on the phone.

“Robbie, please, I am begging you to leave already…”

“Why? Am I embarrassing you? Why are your cheeks so red?”

I can hear the ticking from here…

“Because I am on the phone with a woman, you moron!” Zach explodes like a bomb. “I have my Bluetooth in because we’re trying to watch a show.”

I can imagine him sitting there, red-faced and waving his arms around in desperation, and the image is enough for me to laugh hysterically.

“Knock it off!”

“Knock what off?” Robbie questions.

“Not you, her!”

I laugh harder and Zach growls in my ear.

“Are you watching the show, like, together?”

“Yes!”

“Aw, that’s the cutest, pussiest shit I have ever heard—ow! Stop throwing things!” Robbie yells. “Whatever. I’m outie. Don’t wait up, bitch.”

A door clicks closed in the background and an exasperated sigh slips through Zach’s lips. “Can we hit play yet?”

“Yeah, Zach, we can hit play, but can I ask you something first?”

“Shoot.”

“Are you really touching your dick?”

Zach mutters a “Dammit, Delia” before saying, “I’m hitting play.”

Iwakeup to Netflix judging me, asking if I’m still watchingHemlock Grove.

Oh crap! Zach!

I scramble to find my phone, wondering how long I’ve been passed out on the couch. It’s after one, which means I’ve been asleep for at least two hours now.

There’s a text waiting for me.

Zach: Did we get disconnected?

Another text, twenty minutes later.

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