Page 97 of Let's Get Textual

Me: Maybe I should be mad now if you’re eating my friend’s cupcake.

Zach: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another cupcake again without thinking of your sweet, sweet…

Me: DON’T SAY IT!

Zach: Say what? I was going to say smile.

Me: You were going to say pussy because you’re a disgusting man and want to ruin cupcakes for me forever.

Zach: I was totally going to say pussy, but it’s still true.

Zach: Hey, Delia?

Me: Yeah…

Zach: Pussy.

Me: I’ll show you pussy…

Zach: Finally! We’re sexting!

Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Zach: That is the last thing I had in mind.

Zach: Also, that kitten is adorable.

Me: Right? Do you think Marshy would mesh well with a cat?

Zach: I am not buying a cat, Delia.

Me: We’ll see.

Zach: It’s not happening. Get it out of your head RIGHT NOW.

Me: Like I said, Zach, WE’LL SEE. WINK.

Zach: Don’t you wink at me.

Zach: Delia…

Zach: DELIA!

Zach: Goddammit. I’m getting a cat, aren’t I?

Me: WINK.

Zach: How’d your tests go?

Zach: Also, I just realized we still text versus talking on the phone. Is that weird?

Me: I think it’s a good thing to keep the roots of our relationship strong. Besides, I can say weird shit to you via text that I don’t feel comfortable saying otherwise.

Me: Like one time I believed goose and geese were two different animals. Spoiler alert: they’re not.

Zach: How did you make it to college? As a senior?

Me: The world will never know.

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