Page 108 of Here's to Yesterday

21

Maura

The deathof someone you care about can suck the life out ofyou.

It didme.

At least for awhile.

In the two weeks following Tanner’s death, I moped. Other than working my shifts at Clyde’s, I stayed in my pajamas and sulked around my aunt Kassi’s. The worst part is that all my brooding wasn’t even for Tanner. Most of it was over losing Tucker. I’m aware how shitty that makes me seem, but in my heart, Tanner was gone long before he wasgone.

It wasn’t until I got the call from Darcy that my application for the apartment was approved that I officially started to move on with life and began fulfilling the promise I made Tucker: be happy. I moved out of Kassi’s the next week, put in my notice at Clyde’s, and demanded Gary hire me because his son broke myheart.

I did all this because I finally realized the path I wanted to take in life. Pretending to be Tucker’s manager for those few appointments and helping him achieve his dreams of getting signed made me discover that I loved the business side of the musicindustry.

I’ve been talking with Rae, Perry, and even Gary over the last several weeks about some sort of collaboration. I think that with Rae’s marketing experience, Perry’s graphic work, and Gary’s history in the industry, we can get an amazing thinggoing.

Finding my love for the music industry wasn’t the only thing Tucker helped with. I guess whatever Tucker said to my fatherwaswhat he needed to hear, because about a week after Tucker left, he contacted me. We’ve met for lunch once a week since. He’s been surprisingly supportive of me attempting to start my own business, but according to him, my mother hasn’t been too fond of it. But I’m not talking to her, so I don’t care much about what she has to say on thematter.

Since the business isn’t one hundred percent ready, I’m working at Mic’s, scouting the talent while all the final details get ironed out. I’ve officially become a part-time suit. Only I’m more of skirt. Or apron. But still, I’m workingitwhile I’mworking.

I’m doing it all on my own, and I’mhappy.

For the mostpart.

I want Tucker here.Badly.

And in a few hours, he’ll be here. Likeherehere. He’s playing Mic’s tonight while the band he’s touring with does a local acousticset.

“You freaking out yet?” Rae asks from the other side of thebar.

I set her drink down in front of her and shrug. “Notyet.”

“But don’t you want him to comeback?”

“Trick question, Rae.” She crinkles her nose at me, so I explain. “There’s a huge part of me that hopes he’s back for me. But there is an equally big part that wants him to have all the success in the world. He can’t do that while he’shere.”

Rae lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. You’ve got itbaaaaad.”

Pinning her with a serious stare, I say, “I do.” Grabbing a bottle of rum, I start making the drink requested by Gaige, who is lounging in the group’s usual spot. “But I don’t think he has any idea I’m working here, so I’m sure he’s not planning on seeing me. This means I have nothing to freak outover.”

“We just gonna play itcool?”

“Weare.”

“Done. Playin’ it cool. Just gonna play itcool.”

I set down Gaige’s drink a little too hard and give her a sharp stare. “Spit out whatever it is you want tosay.”

“Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.” She smirks over the rim of her glass and takes a sip of her drink. “You two made that promise, right? That one day when you knew you’d let each other know and find a way to make it work. Well, you know. And you need to tell Tucker that. If you’re ready, you need to tellhim.”

I don’t say anything and instead take a drink order from the customer that just walked up to thebar.

Wedidmake that promise, and Iamready. I miss Tucker way more than I’m willing to admit out loud half thetime.

I meant what I said to Rae. I want him to have this adventure. I want him to make his music. But I also want himhere.

I guess I just need to give him a chance to make that decisionhimself.

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