Page 18 of Here's to Yesterday

“Hurry back. You’ll bemissed.”

My heart starts pounding hard because the voice that spoke most definitely did not belong to a man. And it wasn’t a friendly “you’ll be missed” either. Whoever that is was flirting, and she was doing it well. Withmyboyfriend.

Calm yourself. He’s probably out with buddies drinking. It’s no bigdeal.

And then I feel guilty for jumping to shitty conclusions when I don’t think I have the right to do so, considering what I’ll be doing the next time I seehim.

I mentally give myself a good slap as Tanner comes back on theline.

“Sorry, babe. I’m up at Wayne’s with Sergeant Daag and Benson playing DD. I would have called earlier but I knew you’d beworking.”

I let all the unnecessary worry flow out of me because the two people he’s with are the last two people he could cheat with. Sergeant Daag is a man, and Sergeant Benson is an out-and-proudlesbian.

See, Brain? Told youso.

Wait a second.Who’sLauren?

“It’s okay. I got a chance to get a break and realized I hadn’t heard from you today. Figured I’d try to catch you before you went to bed. I know you have duty tomorrow morning,” I tell him. Taking a deep breath, I ask him a question that’s bound to make me sound like a jackass. “Who’sLauren?”

He laughs at me. Tanner actually laughs. And he soundssomuch like the Tanner I fell in love with. “Maura Ann, is that jealousy I hear in yourvoice?”

I wince. “Maybe? Which is dumb because I have no legitimate reason to bejealous.”

“Bullshit. You have every right to be jealous.”As far as he knows.“You’re my girl, Maurie. You get to be as jealous as you want. Plus, it’shot.”

I laugh lightly because only Tanner—both versions of him—would find that attractive. He can be such anass.

“Maura?”

“Yeah?” Ianswer.

“Lauren is Benson’s girlfriend. She’s flirty with everyone but one hundred percent committed to Benson. I promise you have nothing to worryabout.”

I let out a deep breath and relax. Iamgoing to break up with him, but Idostill care about him, and he’s still a good friend. He’s the guy I handed my virginity to. I don’t want him to cheat. Our friendship would be ruined, and that’s the last thing I want tohappen.

“Good. That’s…good.”

“I miss you,” he saysquietly.

I grin at his admission. I must have hit the jackpot tonight because the more this conversation goes on, the more we start to sound like our old selves. Italmostmakes me not want to break it off. But all it does is make my heart hurt because these moments I have with Tanner are so few and far between now. My heart aches for what once was with him, what’s now too fargone.

“I miss you too, Tanner. More than you know,” I tell him, not only referring tohimbut tous—or who we used tobe.

“Your ten minutes are up,” he tells me. “And I’ve gotta get back in there to watch Daag. He’s on the prowl tonight. No telling what trouble he’s gonna getinto.”

“Daag is a fun drunk.” I laugh. “I’ll get back to work and you get back to babysitting. Talk to youtomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Maurie. I loveyou.”

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “You too,” I say, and then I end thecall.

Closing my eyes, I lean back against the wood panel and try to calm down, because I just realized how much harder this is going to be than I originallythought.

The idea of losing Tanner’s friendship terrifies me. We have one of those bonds that you know you need in your life. Even if we’re not a good couple, there’s no denying that part ofus.

But now, I’m scared we’re going to losethat.

And it will be all myfault.

---