Page 32 of Here's to Yesterday

As I guessed, we pull up to the curb beside Hudson’s house. Tucker rolls down his windows and shuts his caroff.

We’re quiet, listening to the faint sounds of crickets and breathing in the fresh nightair.

“I met Hudson when I was fifteen, you know,” he speaks up. “We had recently moved into the worst house on the block, and I was getting picked on a lot for it. But not by Hudson. Actually, I’m fairly positive he befriended mebecauseof my shitty house. I think he felt bad for me.” He laughs lightly at the thought. “Anyhow, he helped me stick up to the bullies. That day was not only a turning point in my life, but also in ourfriendship.”

“We were young. And when you’re young, your friends are all you have becauseno onelistens to their parents at fifteen. So when Hudson did that for me, stuck by me through the torture and then helped me overcome it, it was a moment for us. I decided that day that I’d do absolutely anything for him. I’d lay down my life for him if I hadto.”

Tucker pauses and takes a deep breath. I can see him struggling, and I’m silently begging for him to tell memore.

“When Joey came along, that’s basically what I did,” he continues. “I’ve wanted to be a musician for as long as I can remember. From the minute I picked up a guitar at seven, I knew. Music was—is—it for me. I’d always planned on hitting the road once I graduated. But the day that Hudson came to me and said he was going to be a father at sixteen, I realized that he needed me more than I needed the music, so I put it aside forhim.”

“I was there for him every step of the way. We waded through all the bullshit together, graduated early side-by-side. And like I thought, the time came when he needed me, having to move into my place for a few weeks because Joey’s mom sucks ass. I took them in, helped them through their rough patch, and by the time all the useless drama was over between him and Joey’s mom, I was becoming partner at Jacked Up. So I pushed my dream back, promising myself to still play gigs around town. It fulfilled me for a while. Then it didn’t and became a thing I wanted more of. But the timing was shitagain.”

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. Tucker’s done a lot more for other people than Ithought.

“Why?” I manage toask.

“Tanner signed up for the Army. I couldn’t leave then. My family would’ve finally blownapart.”

Huh?“Wait,what?”

“Tanner didn’t tell you?” I shake my head because I have no idea what he’s talking about. Tucker laughs a humorless laugh. “Of course he didn’t,” he says quietly. He sighs loudly and clears his throat. “The reason Tanner signed up is…deceitful. My parents were on the brink of a divorce when we moved to Wakefield. He knew that if he joined, they’d end up staying together to lean on one another. So he lied about the severity of his job and played up the deployment part of it all to drum up sympathy. It worked. Oh God, did it work. They didn’t get divorced, and shit gotbetter.”

“Well, that’s good, right? Are they stilltogether?”

“Something like that,” he mumbles, so low I can barely hearit.

Tucker’s confession shines a new light on Tanner. I never saw him as a manipulative guy, but what he did—no matter his good intention—was downright devious. I get that he didn’t want his parents to get divorced; no kid wants that. My problem is with how sneaky he was about it, lying about things, pushing his parents further than he should have. From the way Tucker sounds, it’s still not all okay, and maybeworse.

I’m not sure how what he did sits with me. I grew up in a house full of manipulation, and I despise the people responsible for it. My stomach turns at the thought of Tanner being one of those people. It now makes me question how genuine my favorite parts of Tannerare.

“You’re a good guy, Tucker,” I tellhim.

He shrugs. “That’s what I’ve beentold.”

“But you regret staying, huh? That’s why you never take a card. You’d feel guilty if you left.” He doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “You’ve hoped for a future in music so many times, and it’s let you down, right? That’s why you don’t hopeeither.”

His nod is barelyperceptible.

“That’s…that’s admirable, Tucker. Brave. Selfless. All of the above. You truly are a good guy, and I don’t think you hear thatenough.”

We’re quiet again. Tucker stares at his lap, and I stare at him. He doesn’t move, and his chest barely heaves. I can tell he’s lost in thought, but I want more fromhim.

“Why’d you bring me here?” I ask, breaking thesilence.

Looking over at me, he nods toward Hudson’s house. I follow his direction and peer up the home. It’s large, beautiful, and exactly what the neighborhood is full of. Pembrooke is a wonderful community. Family friendly and a little on the upscale, rich side of life. But it’s a humble type of rich. It’s not flashy and in your face. You know when you drive by that these people living in these homes have good financial fortune in life, and you’re genuinely happy for them. You don’t get that much thesedays.

“He has all this. The house his grandparents used to own, a brand new car. And now that he’s met Rae, he has the family he’s always wanted. I’m part of it,” he says proudly. “I don’t give the suits the time of day because I don’t want to not be here to watch Joey grow up or Hudson get his happily ever afterfinally.”

I smile at the joy I hear in his voice, but my smile wavers because I hear hesitation too. “That’sama—”

“Wait,” he interrupts. “Let mefinish?”

Inod.

“I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant Hudson getting all this, there’s no denying that. This is the one thing I’m proud of. However, I can’t help but wonder where I’d be now if Ihadtaken a card or made a phone call. I’m not stupid. I know my talent. I know I can crook my finger and get at least five different contract offers.” Tucker clenches his hands on his knees, the frustration he’s feeling almost palpable. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this out loud, but I need to. I feel like I’ve done myself a disservice by staying, even if taking one of those cards years ago would have meant Hudson losing all this. And a small part of me wishes I had, just to see where I would be now. But that’s not right, ya know? I should be satisfied, but I’m not. I want to be able to look at this and not feel that guilt of not being satisfied, of wanting more, of still wanting to chase themusic.”

He glances over at me with this look in his eye that borders on hope but doesn’t quite reach it. “I finally think I’m ready. I want to do something for myself, for my talent. Until last night, I never thought I’d be able to admit this or truly consider leaving. Not by myself, anyway,” he says. “Thanks for unintentionally pushing me. Watching you insert yourself into the conversation and taking charge, it mademewant to do that. It made me want to take action for once. It gave mehope.”

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