Page 33 of Here's to Yesterday

I tilt my head and look athim.

“But you think that if you leave, it will fall apart.” It’s not a question, and Tucker doesn’t answer. He sits there and stares at me, maskfree.

And I can see it. I see the weight it’s put on him, how desperately he wants that chance to shine but how he feels like he can’t. He thinks he still needs to be here for Hudson and Joey. And something else. But he’s not telling me that yet. I can tell it’s huge, but I don’t want topush.

I see it all clearly. He’s letting me have that piece ofhim.

But why? Why me? Why his brother’s girlfriend? Why not someone else? Does he realize that I feel like I can never have what I want either? Is that why he’s showing this side of himself to me? He sees a kindred spirit in me. He sees the struggle I have to be everything my parents force me to be. He sees how much I want to be liberated from all this weight I hold. Only it’s in a differentway.

Tucker wants to leave and make beautiful music. I want to stay and beme.

“First, I have to say this: you are a fantastic friend. Seriously. I don’t know many people who would do what you’ve done for Hudson. Remember that. Remember how incredibly giving you are. Second, you can, Tucker. You can leave. Everyone would understand. You don’t have to feel like you carry the world. It’s your turn. You can hopeagain.”

Tucker closes his eyes and inhalesdeeply.

“I wish that were true.So bad.But I can’t. Notyet.”

“Why not?” Itry.

“Because it’s not all fixed yet. There are people here that still need me,” he says, putting the key back in the ignition and cranking thecar.

“Part two?” Iask.

“Parttwo.”

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