Page 44 of Here's to Yesterday

9

We’re standingin the kitchen, cutting the cake, when Rae drops a bomb onme.

“You know that Tucker likes you,right?”

What?“Yeah? Well, I like himtoo.”

“No,” she says, scooping out a spoonful of vanilla ice cream and plopping it down in a bowl. “Helikesyou, likesyou.”

It takes everything I have not to say,Ilikehim, like himtoo.

But Irefrain.

Because I do. Idolike him. And I definitely shouldn’t. It’s not right, and it’s not fair to Tanner—who just now crosses my mind for the first time since thismorning.

I’m a walking cliché. My boyfriend is out of state, so what do I do? I start crushing on his brother.Great.

However, if I’m honest, it was Tucker who I resisted at first. It was Tucker who had drawn my attention from thebeginning.

But it was Tanner who got myheart.

Because I let him. Because I didn’t let myself want Tucker.I’m all kinds of messedup.

Heart? Yousuck.

“Okay,” Isay.

“Okay? That’s all you have tosay?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak, because I know I’ll do nothing but dig an enormous, deep hole for myself. One that I do not want to dig. At least not here at a birthdayparty.

“Interesting. Your boyfriend’s brother has a mad crush on you and you say ‘okay’?Right?”

“Right,” Irepeat.

“And you’re not gonna fess up to crushing on him back?” sheinquires.

The bowl of cake and ice cream I’m holding goes falling to theground.

“Well, waste all the good food, why don’tyou.”

I want to strangle her for doing this to me. But that’s Rae. She says crazy things and then moves on from it all while everyone else is still standing around with their jaws on theground.

“You gonna be okay?” she says, waving a hand in front of myface.

I don’t know. Hearing all this out loud is…overwhelming. It seems much safer to think in myhead.

“I…um…I…”

“You know I’m not going to judge you, Maura. Am I ticked you didn’t think you could come to me about all this? Sure. But I won’t judge you. We can’t help who we like,” she says softly, bending down to pick up thebowl.

I snap out of whatever odd trance I’m in and move to grab a papertowel.

“Am I a bad person?” I say, squatting down next to her to wipe up mymess.

She looks at me, directly in the eyes, and says, “I’ll never think you’re a bad person, Maura. You’re the best person Iknow.”

I close my eyes briefly to hold back the tears, because damn. That meant so much more to me than I thought it everwould.

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