Page 50 of Here's to Yesterday

10

Over the next few days,I manage to have lunch with Rae and Perry—who promises to cut back on his drinking after revealing to us that his mom has been contacting him. Rae and I can’t figure out why he waited so long to tell us, but we figure we’re even since I’ve been on the hush-hush with the Tanner/Tuckersituation.

I also managed to dodge two phones calls from my mom, because I’ve been busy at work every day, like I amnow.

However, I did talk with Tanner twice. Both conversations were awkward as hell, and it wasn’t only on me. He was quiet and distant. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn’t. Instead I sat in silence on the other end, feeling guilty for what happened with Tucker on Saturday night, feeling guilty for us admitting that we have feelings we shouldn’t have for oneanother.

Tucker and I may not be doing anything physically—and we never will as long as I’m with Tanner—but what happened on an emotional level after Joey’s party was unfair tohim.

But how can something that feels so amazing be sowrong?

I need to get out of my head, push it all aside and focus on getting through the next week and my parents’party.

I stop cleaning off the table I’ve been wiping down and check the text that came justthrough.

Tucker: What color is yourdress?

Me:Blue?

Tucker: Why is that aquestion?

Me: I haven’t seen ityet…

My phone ringsinstantly.

“They pick out what you wear?” he says in place of agreeting.

“Well hello to you too,Tucker.”

“Sorry. Hi, Maura. They pick out yourclothes?”

I laugh at his feeble attempt at correctinghimself.

“Sometimes,” Isigh.

“But why? Aren’t you anadult?”

“It’s easier that way. It’s much worse if I show up in a dress I pickedout.”

“If I didn’t already know some of the shit they’ve put you through, I’d say your parents suck. But they’re worthy of many other descriptive words I’d feel wrong using on your shelteredears.”

I can’t help but smile at Tucker’s protectiveness. The drive home from Joey’s party the other night was accompanied by me telling Tucker all about how shitty my parents are to me. And Tucker being Tucker wanted to drive there and tell them off, but I managed to talk him out ofit.

“Thanks,Tuck.”

“So blue, huh? Do we have an idea of whatshade?”

We.

“She says it’s going to match my eyes,” I tellhim.

“Basically, I need to find the prettiest shade of blue there is and go withthat?”

“You say the sweetest things,” Itease.

“Only for you, Maura,” he says in a low voice, and I know he’s not trying to be cheesy, that he meansit.

“Yo, dickwad! Get off the phone!” I hear Hudson say in thebackground.

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