Page 52 of Here's to Yesterday

He exhales a long breath and then clears his throat. “I wanted to, uh, apologize. For earlier. I was out ofline.”

I give him a small nod, letting him know tocontinue.

“This whole thing is weird, Maura. Whatever is happening between us is weird. I feel like shit. I’vefeltlike shit since Saturday. I feel guilty as fuck, and we haven’t done anything. I feel terrible because I shouldn’t like you like I do. I shouldn’t want to stand here and beg you to break up with my brother because when you look at me I feel like someone finally understands everything about me. That’s not how it’s supposed tobe.”

I still don’t say anything as he takes a step closer to me, bending down to speak softly into my ear. “Say something.Please.”

I give him a small nod because it’s all I can do to let him know I’m hearinghim.

“I want to kiss you, but I can’t. I want to hold your hand, but I can’t. I want to sweep you off your feet, but I can’t. I can’t do any of it, but I want to. I really,reallywant to.” I nod again because that’s what I want. “But no matter how bad we want it, it can’thappen.”

I turn my head, and our eyes meet. His are darker than their normal bright gold, and his chest is moving in time with mine—which is still toofast.

“I feel it, Tucker. Whatever all this is, Ifeelit. But you’re right. We can’t. And that’s where we’re leavingit.”

We continue gazing at one another as we come to a silent mutual understanding, and our hearts resume their naturalpace.

“So,friend,do you want to meet tomorrow and talk about maybe calling thatsuit?”

I feel a smile tug at my lips. “I’d love that. Lunchbreak?”

“One fifteen-ishgood?”

“Perfect.”

Tucker winks at me. “I know Iam.”

And just like that, all the awkwardness that was hovering over us moments ago vanishes, and we go back to being Maura andTucker.

Friends.

* * *

“You wanna go get lunch?I don’t have to be in for another two hours, and we don’t have crap here to eat,” Kassi asks from thekitchen.

“Um…,” Istart.

She suddenly appears from around the corner. “Uh oh. You’ve got a hot date, don’t you?” The grin on her face is mischievous. “Spill the beans, woman! Is itTucker?”

I grab the throw pillow next to me and toss it at her. “Boyfriend, Kass, boyfriend,” I remindher.

She fake yawns and walks the pillow back over to the couch, taking a seat next to me. “Boring.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I am meeting with Tucker. He needs support, and he asked me to give it tohim.”

Kassi’s eyebrows lift suspiciously. “Whyyou?”

“Well, detective, because I was the one to give him a push in the first place. He’s trying to decide how to approach taking the next step in his musiccareer.”

She’s quiet a moment and then says, “You ready for him toleave?”

I let my head fall back against the couch and squeeze my eyes shut. I’m not ready for that. Tucker seems to be the one person I can fully be myself around, and I don’t want to lose him, especially not now, when I feel like I just found him—when we’ve just decided to give this friendship a realshot.

But it doesn’t matter how not ready I am; it matters that he’s taking the initiative and trying to finally do what he’s always wanted to do. And I couldn’t be happier for him. Iwanthim to have that in life. I want him to do everything he can to make his dreams come true. Above all else, I want to be the person who helps him make it all happen. I feel honored heasked.

“You’re not,” shesays.

“It’s never fun to know that your extremely talented friend is probably going to leave you behind for bigger and better things,” I tell her, dropping my head toward my lap and picking at my nails—anything to avoid eye contact. “No, I’m not ready. But I want nothing but happiness for him, so I’ll stand beside him, cheer him on, and give him all the nudges he needs like any other good friend woulddo.”

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