Page 71 of Here's to Yesterday

As I begin to relax into his touch, he pulls the zipper down and steps away without another word. I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of the door clicking shut behind him and collapse against the sink, attempting to regulate my breathing. My heart is scratching at my chest, begging to be relieved of itscage.

It is.Now it is. With everything that happened with Tanner tonight, it’s freed. I can do as I please. And what I want isTucker.

Ithink.

Well, I mean, IknowI want him, but I also know how wrong that would be, especially soquickly.

But what would one night hurt?Nothing.

So that’s what I’ll give myself. One night with Tucker, and that’s it. After that, I need to find who I am again. I loved the person I was becoming last summer after graduation. I was getting louder and braver and way more outgoing. But then I met Tanner and I felt stifled, like I needed to be the immaculate version of myself again. So that’s who I was, Meek Maura, afraid of my own shadow and absolutely terrified of disappointinganyone.

Guess I got over that fear after tonight.Because I definitely disappointed Tanner. And if I’m honest,myself.

Pushing off the counter, I finish taking off my dress and put on Tucker’s clothes. I take one last glance in the mirror, place a hand on the doorknob, exhale one last breath, and peel away the last layer of mymask.

Because like Tucker, I want to be complete. And I know he’s the person to help me accomplishthis.

* * *

“You readyto fall in love with the Winchesters?” He smiles broadly as I walk back into the livingroom.

I groan. “Iguess.”

Before I sit back down on the couch, I grab both bottles of wine from the kitchen because I have a feeling I’ll need all the liquid courage I can gettonight.

Tucker quirks an eyebrow at me as I settle back down next to him but doesn’t say anything. The lamp clicks off, and we’re briefly shrouded in darkness, both holding our breaths until the screen lights upagain.

Our marathon begins, and I have to, reluctantly, admit that I enjoy the show. It’s kind of cheesy with all the “brother” talk, but it’s fun, and I enjoy watching it with Tucker. Seeing him laugh and get scared all within about ten seconds of one another is endearing. And so is his obvious attachment to thecharacters.

Before I know it, we’re onto disc two and about one glass away from being out ofwine.

“Wanna do a shot? This wine doesn’t do shit for me,” Tuckeroffers.

I think about that for about millisecond. “Sure. I’ve never done one before, so whynot.”

He doesn’t appear shaken by my confession but instead grins and heads into the kitchen. He quickly comes back carrying two small glasses filled with amber liquid. I let out a low laugh, becauseof coursehe has shot glasses but not wine glasses.Men.

“Don’t ask what it is. Drink,” he instructs, handing me thebooze.

I hold up my shot to him, as if to say cheers. “Here’s to a night offirsts.”

We clink glasses and toss back the liquid fun. I immediatelygag.

“Ugh! What the hell was that? I think I mightpuke.”

Tucker chuckles. “Jameson.” I groan. “You okay? Was mixing whiskey and wine too much foryou?”

I shake my head. “I’m good. No puking forme.”

“Good,” he says, heading to the kitchen to refill his glass. As he walks back into the room, he asks, “You ready formore?”

I nod and guzzle down the rest of the wine in my cup. I give myself a refill, take a large gulp, and lounge back onto the couch. Tucker slips an arm around me, and I’m not sure if the tingles I feel are from the wine or his touch, but I like them eitherway.

“Maura,” he says shakily about five minutes into the new episode. I can hear it in his voice. The regret. It’s swallowing him whole like it is me. “I’mso—”

“Don’t,” I interrupt. “Please don’t. It’s not your fault. This one’s on me. I was the one in a relationship, and I knew better. I cheated, notyou.”

Tucker sighs as he sits up, pauses the show, and sets his glass on the table. “Is that what he said? You cheated?” he asks, turning to face me. I nod. “Do you lovehim?”

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