Page 75 of Here's to Yesterday

And she’s regrettingit.

My heart instantly starts breaking.She’s regretting it.I don’t want her to regret it. I want her to want it. I want her to wantme.

She pushes at my chest again, so I sit up as she rushes off the bed, watching as she starts shoving her—or should I say my—clothes backon.

I sigh and try to reason with her overreaction. “Maura.”

She stops running around like a crazy person, and I think maybe she realizes that nothing happened last night. But I’mwrong.

“We…we can’t,” she whispers. “You know wecan’t.”

“Maura,” I say again softly as she continues dressing. “Please.”

She shakes her head and slips her shoes on. “No.”

Suddenly I get it. She feels guilty. She thinks it’s too soon. Her thinking is valid because itistoosoon.

“Is it because of him?” Iask.

“I’m sorry. This…this was a mistake. Abigmistake. I—I’m just sorry,” she says, breaking my heart more, turning the doorknob and quickly running out of myapartment.

It takes me all of ten seconds to run afterher.

“What the…,” Gaige says when I pass his towel-clad ass as he walks out of thebathroom.

“Why are you still naked? Put some damn clothes on!” I shout over myshoulder.

I pull open my front door and prepare to sprint down the small hallway when I stop dead in mytracks.

She’s broken.Sofucking broken she’s sitting in the hallway on her knees, crying her eyes out. Her body shakes and shivers with every painfulsob.

I tentatively walk over to her, kneeling down beside her slumpedform.

“Maura,” I say gently. She doesn’t answer but instead continues tosob.

I don’t know what to say to her because a part of me understands where she’s coming from and why she’s feeling so terrible. I get the guilt because I feel ittoo.

But I also justfeel.For her. As much as I don’t want to hurt my brother more than I already have, I want Maura, and I cannot continue to deny it. I want her to feel loved and cared for. I want her to find out all her potential. I want it all forher.

And I want to be there with her when she getsit.

“Look at me.” I pull her chin up until she meets my stare. Her eyes are puffy and red, snot forming at the end of her nose.She’s stillbeautiful.

She gazes up at me; her eyes are blue and sorrowful. She seems defeated, so dejected. I can almost read the thoughts going through her head.You cheated,she’s thinking.You’re no good. You’re a horrible person. You’re a whore. You’re everything your shitty parents always said youwere.

“Stop,” I tell her. “Stop thinking all the things you’re thinking. Nothing happened last night. We didn’t sleep together. We made out. A lot. We drank too much and stopped before it got too out ofhand.”

“I know,” she sniffles. “I remember everything. That’s why it hurts somuch.”

I scrunch my brows. “Why does thathurt?”

“Because it’s too soon, Tucker. It’swaytoo soon. I’m supposed to be sad and mopey for a few weeks, eat a ton of ice cream, and listen to old school Taylor Swift songs. I shouldn’t feel happy. It shouldn’t feel natural. It’s wrong.We’rewrong.”

I swallow down the anger that’s starting to boil at how wishy-washy she’s being. I understand that she’s confused. Hell, so am I. I get that she feels like she can’t have feelings for me because of Tanner. But I also know that she wants to. And for me, that’s enough to convince her to give thisthingashot.

“That’s not what you said last night, Maura. You said it wasright. You saidwefelt right.Don’t negate that now.” I can tell she’s still not convinced, so I press on. “You made a promise. What wasit?”

She drops her head again and whispers, “Beme.Makemehappy.”

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