Page 9 of Here's to Yesterday

“Y-yes, Mother. I’ll bethere.”

“With a date,” sheinstructs.

“With a date,” I respond like the good daughter Iam.

“Good. Now that that is settled, would you like chicken orbeef?”

I finally let the tearsfall.

* * *

Bzzz.Bzzz.Bzzz.

I fumble around until my hand lands on my buzzing phone sitting on my bedsidetable.

“Yeah?” I answergroggily.

“Good morning to you,too.”

A smile breaks out across myface.

“Tanner,” I sayquietly.

“Hi, babe. How’s my girl?” heasks.

He so much likemyTanner today that for a split second, I want to tell him everything. Spill it all out to him. Tell him what has been off with me lately, how I’ve been nothing but up and down for the past two weeks, how much I miss him. Let him know how much I missus.Tell him what a pain in the ass both my mom and Tucker are. Maybe be honest about how I don’t think I love him like Ishould.

It all wants to come out. It all almostdoes.

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“How…uh…how are things?” he tries againcautiously.

I clear my throat and put that pep into my voice that I know he wants to hear. “Good, Tanner. They’regood.”

“Yeah? Because I miss you.” My heart clenches a little bit. “I could go for a round or two of some stress-relieving activity, if you know what I mean.” And like that, my heart is back to normal, becausethatwas notmyTanner.

Before I’m forced to answer him, or more than likely sit here in awkward silence, I hear someone in the background call to him, and I know that’s the end of our morning phone callalready.

“Babe, I gotta go. Sergeant’s calling for me. I’ll talk to youlater?”

“Of course. Go. Have a good day, SergeantBentley.”

“I love you, Maurie. Forever,babe.”

Iwantto be able to say it back and mean it like I should—likeheshould. But lust doesn’t equal love, so Ican’t.

“You too,” Isay.

I hit the red button and toss my phone onto the pillow beside me. I roll over and let out a frustrated groan. Why can’t I make this all easy? Why do I have to be so complicated about everything? Why can’t I be what my parents want me to be? Why can’t I love Tanner how I’m supposed to love him and leave it at that? Why do I have to question itall?

Apparently today is going to be one of those days, because my phone buzzesagain.

Bestie: Wake up, hooker. Open your damndoor.

Springing out of bed, I race to the front door, flinging it open so hard it slams into the wall. I immediately throw my arms around Rae’s neck and squeeze her extra tight. I’m sure it freaks her out some because I’m not one to initiate hugs thatoften.

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