Page 97 of Here's to Yesterday

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Apoundingin my head wakes me from what may be the most peaceful sleep I’ve ever had. Maura fidgets next to me, and I do my best to even out my breathing again so I don’t wake her, because having her in my arms is the best I thing have everfelt.

She’s amazing. Everything about her is so fucking special and memorable, and she doesn’t fully realize it. Last night with her was…spectacular. Watching her come apart is something I’ll never forget. The look of surprise on her face and the glow she was sporting afterwards was genuine andpure.

“I love you,” I whisper aloud for the first time to her sleeping form, brushing my mouth against herforehead.

The pounding starts again, and I faintly hear a voice calling myname.

Weird.I’m definitely awake, and Maura isn’t talking, so that must mean someone is at thedoor.

I carefully extract myself from her grip, pausing every few seconds to make sure I haven’t woken her up. I must have been a ninja in a past life, because I manage to make it out without wakingher.

As I walk into the living room, I recognize Hudson’s voice as the one coming through thedoor.

“Tuck! Open the door, man. It’sreallyfucking important,” he says in apanic.

I rush the last few steps and fling the door open to find him and Rae standing there with sorrowful looks on theirfaces.

Fuck.Whatever this is can’t be goodnews.

I open the door wider and let them in without a word. Rae rushes in first, probably searching for Maura, and Hudson follows, giving me a heavy clap on the shoulder.Okay. This can’t be good.Hudson flicks on the big screen and takes a seat. I continue to stand and stare at the screen until he flips it to a newsstation.

That’s when my knees fall to theground.

“Breaking news out of North Carolina,” the voice on TV says. I hate that voice so much in this moment. “At United States Army base Fort Bragg, a helicopter has crashed due to technicaldifficulties.”

A helicopter. Tanner works withhelicopters.

“As of six o’clock this morning,” the voice continues, “two soldiers have been reporteddead.”

Rae gasps as two pictures flash up on the screen. I close my eyes and cover my ears because I can’t hear or see anymore.

He’sdead.

“and one seriously injured,” the evil reporter says. “No civilian injuries have been reported at thistime.”

I try my best to suck in air, but nothing iscoming.

Tanner isdead.

My lungs are slowly emptying, and I’m beginning to feellightheaded.

Tanner isdead.

Everything feels so faraway.

My brother is dead.And the last thing I said about him was “he’s dead to me.”Fuck.

I feel two hands clasp my shoulders, shaking me hard. “Breathe, Tuck. Fucking breathe,” Hudson urges. He shakes me again. “Come on,man.”

I stare into the eyes of my best friend, trying to find anything stable to grasp onto.

Ican’t.

I can’t find anything at all. Because my fucking brother isdead.

“Where’s Maura?” Hudson asks with tears filling hiseyes.

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