Page 39 of I Wanna Text You Up

Me:Ido.

Caleb:Well…

Me:Spit itout.

Caleb:My old roommates are threatening to have it towed, saying I’m blocking their parking. Think you could help meout?

Me:You don’t come home, you don’t call, yet you want favors. Hmm…decisions,decisions.

Caleb:Is that a yes? I really need it to be ayes.

Me:Pleasehold.

Me:Okay, Robbie canhelp.

Caleb:And he’ll take good care of my baby…right? I can trust thisguy?

Me:Do you really have a choice rightnow?

Caleb:No. I can’t believe these guys are being such dicks about everything. They keep saying it’s because I left them “high and dry”, which is complete bullshit. Fuckingdicks.

Me:YEAH YOU TELLTHEM

Caleb:Youdone?

Me:Yes.

Me:Sorry they’redicks.

Caleb:It is what itis.

Me:I’ll get everything taken care of with the bike, don’t you worry. Go back to your “gas stationduties”.

Caleb:What’s with the quotationmarks?

Me:Well…I have thistheory.

Caleb:What was it you said earlier? Spit itout.

Me:I have this theory that you’re really a stripper and you’re just embarrassed and don’t want to tell anyone about it. That’s why you work such crazy hours and come home smelling like old ladies andsadness.

Caleb:LMAO

Caleb:Are youserious?

Me:Dead.

Caleb:Holy fuck. *dies*

Caleb:Zoe, I am NOT a stripper. I work at a 24hr gas station and that’s ALL I do. Ipromise.

Me:I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be surprised if you came home covered in glitter and wearing a G-string. *shrugs*

Eight

Me:Mittens is anasshole.

Caleb:Oh god, what did hedo?

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