Page 80 of I Wanna Text You Up

Caleb:Not onpurpose!

Caleb:But do you see why I wanted to move in with you? My old roommates wouldn’t have paid him any attention at all. At least now I know someone’s showing himaffection.

Me:THAT’S why you wanted to move in? So I can be your built-in catsitter?

Caleb:That and yourass.

Me:Right? It’s so great, isn’tit?

Caleb:Omg. I’m going to go do something productive before you start going on about your attributesagain.

Me:Don’t be jealous because I’m sexier than you,Caleb.

Caleb:You are, Zoe. You soare.

* * *

Me:What are you doing tomorrowmorning?

Caleb:Why?

Me:Reasons.

Caleb:I was going to sleep in a bit since I only have afternoonclass.

Me:Excellent! My morning class was canceled. Breakfast & Beats—it’s happening. Ten AM. Be there or be the biggest L-7 weenie on theblock.

Caleb:Okay. Yep. I have ahomer.

Me:Ahomer?

Caleb:BONER. I HAVE A BONER. MY GODDAMN DICK ISHARD.

Me:And what brought thison?

Caleb:A hot chick quoted my second favorite movie to me. Instant hard-on.

Me:Ah, yes. I forgot about your love for TheSandlot.

Me:Want me to say somethingelse?

Caleb:NO!

Me:Why?

Caleb:Because it’s going to be real awkward next time I’m watching it and I get a boner remembering you sayingit.

Me:Hmm, fairenough.

Me:But B&B? Youin?

Caleb:I’m in. I’ve heard too much about it to skipthis.

Caleb:And fair warning, my expectations are high. You better deliver on not only breakfast, but beatstoo.

Caleb:Dancing too. I wanna see that assshake.

Me:You’reon.

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