Page 84 of I Wanna Text You Up

“I’m sorry, Delia. I’m so sorry. I’m a horrible friend, but I couldn’t help it. He’s just so…Caleb. He’s hot and kind of annoying and so kind.” I groan and shake my head, dropping it into my hands to hide. “Sofucking kind. He works himself to the bone and wants to make something out of his life so badly, wants to better himself, but he doesn’t realize he’s already an amazing guy. Plus, you know…thatbody.”

My breath is coming out all shaky and I feel like I’m rambling, but I’m so scared to face her, to see her reaction. I don’t want her to hate me for this. I can’t help my feelings any more then Calebcan.

“I just…I like him, Delia. I like him so fucking much, and I hate myself forit.”

Delia bursts intolaughter.

Slowly, I lift my head and glance her way. Her head is thrown back and her body isshaking.

“Wha…”

She fans her hand in front of her face, trying to calm herself. She downs the rest of her wine and sets the now empty glass on the table before facing me. Sticking out her hands, she beckons for mine. I mirror her pose and tentatively place my hands inhers.

“Zoe, it’sokay.”

“What?”

“It is okay. There’s no reason for you to hate yourself. It’s fine.I’mfine with it. In fact, I’m delighted to hearthis.”

My mouth drops open, shocked by what I’m hearing. “You’rewhat?”

“I’m happy as hell. Besides Zach, you’re my most favorite person in this entire world, and Caleb’s probably my third. Why wouldn’t I want my favorite people to findhappiness?”

“But he’s your ex-boyfriend.”

“Iknow.”

“Delia, he’syourfuckingex-boyfriend!”

“You keep saying that like I wasn’t the one who dated him for sixmonths.”

My lips quirk up. “Caleb said almost the exact same thing to meonce.”

“That does not surprise me.” She squeezes my hand. “Zoe, if you like Caleb and he makes you happy, then go for it. He’s a great guy and I think he could be good foryou.”

“Delia…”

“Hey, look at me.” I meet her eyes. “No weirdness from me, I promise. I’m madly in love with the giant pain in the ass in the basement. There’s no jealousy or resentment or anything like that. I want you to feel what I feel with Zach, and if it’s Caleb who makes you feel that way, then it’s him. Caleb and I were never going to make it. We had a surface-level relationship. There were no fireworks in the sky when it came to us. We just were. It was more convenient than anything else—not that he wasn’t a good guy or that I didn’t care for him, I just didn’t care for him like I should have, if that makessense.”

I nod. “It does, because I care for him like Ishould.”

“Well that’s already an improvement over your pastrelationships.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that, but you’re totally right.” All at once, so many emotions hit me, and tears begin to brim in my eyes. I blink them away before they can fall. “We’re not at the same level you and Zach are at, but I do like him a lot. I think whatever it is that’s going on between us haspotential.”

“Like long term? Not one of yourflings?”

“He doesn’t feel like afling.”

“Can Iask…”

She doesn’t even have to voice the question. “We haven’t slept together. For one, I couldn’t do that to you, and two, I’m not ready for that stepyet.”

“But now that I’ve given you myblessing…”

“Oh, it’s going downnow.”

She laughs and wipes at her own tears. “There’s mygirl.”

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