Page 88 of I Wanna Text You Up

Me:Opinions are like assholes,Caleb.

Caleb:Sassy AND mean tonight.Noted.

Caleb:Keep it up and I’ll make you sleep on thecouch.

Me:Did you just threaten to kick me out of my ownbed?

Caleb:It’s OURbed.

Me:No, that is MY bed. I just let you sleep init.

Me:Speaking of, we really need to get you your own. I’m tired of waking up to the smell of your farts in the middle of thenight.

Caleb:Those are YOUR farts waking you up. Trust me, they wake me uptoo.

Me:I hateyou.

Caleb:Youcan’t.

Me:I can, and Ido.

Caleb:You can’t, and youdon’t.

Caleb:Now come home already. I’m getting bored myself. I’ve already watched three movies and started and stopped twoshows.

Me:So you’ve been a bum on the couch allday.

Caleb:Hey, I get like one good day off every couple weeks. I’ll be lazy when I can belazy.

Me:Okay, okay. You got me there. I’ll allowit.

Caleb:*rolls eyes* I’m SO glad I have your permission torelax.

Me:Yeah, metoo.

* * *

Caleb:DOWNLOADATTACHMENT

Me:Is that your masturbatinghand?

Caleb:Well,yes.

Caleb:But it’s also my righthand…

Me:Cool?

Me:WAIT.

Me:You got your brace off!YAY!

Caleb:Kind of. I have to do physicaltherapy.

Me:Seriously? Well that partblows.

Caleb:Tell me aboutit.

Me:What did we learn from all ofthis?