Me:Opinions are like assholes,Caleb.
Caleb:Sassy AND mean tonight.Noted.
Caleb:Keep it up and I’ll make you sleep on thecouch.
Me:Did you just threaten to kick me out of my ownbed?
Caleb:It’s OURbed.
Me:No, that is MY bed. I just let you sleep init.
Me:Speaking of, we really need to get you your own. I’m tired of waking up to the smell of your farts in the middle of thenight.
Caleb:Those are YOUR farts waking you up. Trust me, they wake me uptoo.
Me:I hateyou.
Caleb:Youcan’t.
Me:I can, and Ido.
Caleb:You can’t, and youdon’t.
Caleb:Now come home already. I’m getting bored myself. I’ve already watched three movies and started and stopped twoshows.
Me:So you’ve been a bum on the couch allday.
Caleb:Hey, I get like one good day off every couple weeks. I’ll be lazy when I can belazy.
Me:Okay, okay. You got me there. I’ll allowit.
Caleb:*rolls eyes* I’m SO glad I have your permission torelax.
Me:Yeah, metoo.
* * *
Caleb:DOWNLOADATTACHMENT
Me:Is that your masturbatinghand?
Caleb:Well,yes.
Caleb:But it’s also my righthand…
Me:Cool?
Me:WAIT.
Me:You got your brace off!YAY!
Caleb:Kind of. I have to do physicaltherapy.
Me:Seriously? Well that partblows.
Caleb:Tell me aboutit.
Me:What did we learn from all ofthis?