Page 12 of If You Say So

Three

Nate

Almost three years ago

I scrubthe damp towel over my head before I toss it onto the floor, pacing around my bedroom, cursing at myself for what just happened in the shower.

Masturbating.

Not that it’s anything new. I’m an eighteen-year-old guy, for fuck’s sake. If a day goes by where Idon’tjerk off, something’s wrong.

What was new were the images I conjured up while I pulled myself to the finish line.

Blake.

My best friend. I let images of my best friend with my cock in his mouth get me off.

What the hell is wrong with me?

But this isn’t my fault—not really. It’s Blake’s. For a month now, I haven’t been able to stop these kinds of scenes from popping into my head.

It was a Saturday like any other, and we were chilling in this very room with a laptop tucked between us as we sat shoulder to shoulder on my bed. We had some shitty show pulled up on Netflix—I can’t even remember the name now—when I declared myself bored and suggested we watch something else.

Blake suggested porn; I obviously agreed.

What we didn’t think to check was whatkindof porn we were pressing play on.

Gayporn.

Or more specifically, bisexual porn. Two dudes going to town on a chick…and each other.

“You, uh, you wanna change it?” Blake asked when he realized what exactly it was we were watching.

I swallowed the lump stuck in my throat, taking note of my already throbbing cock straining against my jeans. I’d watched bisexual porn before. This was nothing new for me, but having an audience while my body reacted the way it did to two guys going at it? That was new.

I cleared my throat. “I’m good if you are.”

And that was that. The flick continued to play, and the blood continued to pump into my dick until I had to excuse myself, so into my en-suite I went to relieve the pressure building in my jeans.

As I wrapped my hand around my hard length, I heard it.

Blake.

He was doing the same thing I was, and his labored breaths were driving me over the edge more than anything else.

Once we were both done, we cleaned up and pretended like nothing was out of the ordinary.

Only it is, because I cannot stop thinking about what it would feel like to have Blake’s lips wrapped around me, hence the fun I just had in the shower at his expense…for the fourth time this week.

What kind of sick best friend am I?

“I cannot take another minute in that goddamn house. They are—”

I spin toward the noise to find Blake standing in my bedroom doorway, frozen mid-step, eyes wide with shock as he stares at my naked body.

I don’t move to cover up, not even an inch. He’s seen me naked before.

Whatisnew is how my body reacts to being under his scrutiny. His eyes rake down my torso in a slow, agonizing manner. I canfeelit as he takes me in at his leisure.

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