Page 13 of If You Say So

I feel it…everywhere.

My cock jumps as his gaze flicks downward, and he doesn’t miss it.

His eyes snap back to mine in an instant and in that moment, I see something new in him. There’s a fire burning in his eyes, a longing.

A longing I’ve been feeling for weeks now.

Images of us wrapped together in a heated passion assault me, the same images I’ve been seeing over and over again, because this isn’t the first time I’ve thought of Blake and me tumbled in bed together.

Ever since that fateful day at my house, something has become very clear to me: I find my best friend attractive, and not in a passing thought sort of way. It’s more than a we-watched-bi-porn-together-and-now-I’m-confused kind of way. Whenever we’re together, I can’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped tightly around me in more than just a bro hug…how comfortable his large, calloused hands would feel clasped between mine…how right his lips would feel trapped to mine.

I’ll admit right now, Blake isn’t the first guy I’ve thought about in this way—thus the ventures into bisexual porn—but he is the first I’vereallythought about, the only one Ikeepthinking about, the only one who has been the star of every wet dream I’ve had lately.

Which is leading me to believe I might be bisexual and this isn’t a fleeting one-off thing that’ll go away with time.

I am legit attracted to both dicks and chicks, and I’ve been trying to process that information for weeks now.

I shake my head in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts bouncing around, because this isn’t something I’m ready to discuss with anyone, especially not my best friend.

“I-I…” Blake clears his throat and turns his head, a blush creeping onto his face as he fumbles for words. “I didn’t know you were naked. Sorry, bro.”

His words come out quiet, forced.

“No biggie, man.” As casually as I can, I step over the towel I dropped moments before Blake waltzed into my room and make my way over to my dresser. I snatch out a pair of boxer briefs and slide them on before facing Blake again. “So, what’s up?”

Blake lifts his shoulders. “Nothing really. The ’rents are home and getting a little too loud with their arguing. Thought we could study? I need a distraction from all this bullshit.”

I notice then he has his backpack slung over his shoulder.

“I take it the divorce isn’t going so well?”

“That’s an understatement.”

“You’re always welcome here, you know that. Let me grab my stuff and we’ll get to work.” I spin around to grab my notebook and books from my desk across the room.

“Hey Nate?”

There’s something in his voice that gives me pause, and I turn his way. He’s standing with one hand on his backpack strap, the other shoved deep in his pocket, head thrown back so he’s looking up at the ceiling and not making eye contact with me.

“Yeah Blake?”

“Can, uh, can you put some clothes on?”

I glance down, realizing I only put on a pair of underwear and nothing else.

Blake’s tongue darts out to wet his lips, and I can’t help but wonder if they’re as soft as they look.

I press a hand to my naked chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of my heart, scared he’s going to be able to hear it from across the room, worried he’ll know just how much this whole scene is affecting me.

I don’t understand what’s going on with me, why these thoughts are flitting through my mind…why Blake is so suddenly worried about me being naked in front of him. I feel like there’s this untapped tension hanging between us, and I don’t know what it means.

“Sure.” The word comes out a near whisper before I rush back over to my dresser and pull out sweats and a tee. I slip both on then grab my things before hauling myself up onto the bench tucked into the bay window I have in my room. We almost always use the nook for homework nights, so it’s a habit at this point.

“You ready?” I ask when he doesn’t move.

He shakes his head twice before finally meeting my eyes, making his way over to the nook, and taking a spot next to me.

He pulls his backpack around to his front and grabs his supplies from it before tossing it toward my bed.

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