Page 21 of If You Say So

“Nate and I have shared the same early morning Wednesday class since the beginning of the year. He’d always walk in with this grin. After a month straight of this, I finally asked him what his deal was becauseno onecould possibly be that happy in the mornings. He grinned at me and said, ‘You can when you’re in love, Mateo.’ And I just shook my head and walked away, thinking he was nuts. Then I’d go have class with you the next day and there you were, smiling. It makes a lot of sense now why you both lost those smiles at the beginning of the semester. You lost each other.”

Hearing Mateo talk about when Nate and I used to be happy hurts. I feel it bone deep, like he’s taking a knife and carving his words into me, each cut, each jagged edge.

“He…was with someone else…like hours after we broke up.”

Mateo stumbles backward at my words. “What?”

I lick my now dry lips and avert my eyes, ashamed to admit out loud that Nate could move on so quickly after what we shared. “It was New Year’s. I caught him in our bedroom with a girl.”

“A girl? But he’s…” It sinks in. “Nate’s bi?”

“Yep.”

“Are you…” He shakes his head, surprised. “Wow. I mean, are you sure that’s what it was and not just what it looked like?”

“His lips were firmly locked on hers when I opened the door, so I’m pretty damn sure.”

“Maybe he was just drunk?”

I bring my eyes back to Mateo. “That doesn’t excuse it.”

“No, you’re right. It doesn’t, but…it’s something to take into consideration.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I clip out.

He nods, knowing this conversation is officially over, and turns on his heel, heading toward to the front of the house.

Just as we reach the foyer, the front door swings open and Carsen and Elliott come barreling inside.

“I’m telling you, if you were stranded on a desert island youwouldwant to bring Sam Winchester because Dean would come after him in a heartbeat.”

Carsen rolls his eyes as he lets the door slam shut behind him. “No way. I’d bring Castiel. He’s a fucking angel. Do you know how badass that is?”

“Angel, schmangel. Bring the damn Winchesters!”

“I’d bring Crowley,” Mateo chimes in, and I shake my head.

I hear Nate walk up behind us and at the same time, we say, “Bobby.”

They all groan and begin muttering their annoyances over our answer.

I just stand there, grinning, because for the first time in a long time, everything feels normal.

And I’ve missed normal.

---