Page 36 of If You Say So

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Holdingmy hand to the door, I stand in the hallway, straining to hear even the smallest noise come from the bedroom I once shared with Blake.

There’s nothing.

I give the knob a try, surprised to find it twist so easily in my hand. With a minimal amount of hesitation, I push the door open and walk inside.

Blake’s sitting on his makeshift bed, knees pulled up with his face buried in his hands.

Even though the words hang on the end of my tongue, even though my fingers tingle with the need to reach out to him, I don’t say a word, and I don’t comfort him.

I simply take a seat on what used to be our bed and wait.

Nothing happens.

I scoot up on the bed and lie backward, waiting some more. I’m unsure how long we remain in the silence before Blake shuffles around. Rolling onto my stomach, I peer over the edge of the bed to find him lying on his back, eyes fixed on the ceiling unblinkingly.

Though we have so much to talk about, we still don’t speak. We’ll have to save it for another day. I think tonight’s confession session along with the kissing was enough to drain us both.

One thing I know for certain, though, is that this isn’t over between us—not by a long shot.

That fire we’ve always had, it’s still there, still ready to roar. We have things to work through, but I’m not ready to give up on us, not ready to walk away.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach over and run the backs of my fingers down his cheek. His eyes fall shut, and his body visibly relaxes. I continue lazy strokes until his breathing evens out and I’m certain he’s asleep.

“I love you,” I whisper, words that haven’t left my mouth in months.

I close my eyes and bury my face into the crook of my arm, trying to get comfortable on the bed.

Something brushes against my hand where it hangs over the side of the mattress, and I don’t move as Blake laces his fingers in mine.

“If you say so.”

The words…they’re so quiet that for a second, I wonder if I imagined him saying them.

But then his mouth ghosts over my knuckles, and I know I didn’t.

He said it, and I know in this moment that there’s hope for us.

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