Page 40 of If You Say So

I pull back and watch as he sits there, eyes closed, listening to me talk. It takes a moment for him to realize I’ve pulled away, and his green eyes flutter open. There’s a slight smile on his face, and I can tell he’s right there along with me, ready to take this ride.

“After what we just went through, what Carsen is experiencing, I’m not too keen on spending so much time apart and living for anyone other than me. Iwant—no, Ineedto see where this things with us goes. Ihaveto give this a real shot, or I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

His eyes are filling with unshed tears, and he’s not talking.

Fuck. Did I say something wrong? Is that not what he wanted? Shit, shit, shit!

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing.”

I frown. “Then why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

“Nate, at the end of the day, I’m gay. I’ve been so scared about that fact, so fucking terrified I’d end up alone and isolated for many years to come—but with you? I don’t feel that. I’m not scared anymore. I’ve just been waiting for the courage to accept me and love me.Yougive me that courage.”

“I do?”

He nods. “Of course.”

“Then what’s making you upset?”

“I’m not upset. I’mgrateful.”

“For?

He leans forward, his lips ghosting over mine as whispers, “You.”

My heart hammers against my chest as something hits me, something new and exciting and hopeful and fun. It scares me and worries me and makes me feel like a fucking king all at once.

And I have to tell him.

“Can I say something else that might freak you out?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate this time.

“I…I think I’m falling in love with you.”

He doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe, but I can see it in his eyes, and I know I’m not alone in this.

Finally, his lips part, and I watch the words tumble from his grinning lips as a blush steals up his cheeks.

“If you say so.”

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