Page 44 of If You Say So

Eleven

Nate

Me:You busy tonight?

Blake:I am not.

Me:You wanna get together?

Me:Just to talk

Me:No kissing.

Me:Unless you really want to. I’d be down for that.

Blake:Yeah, I think I’d like that.

Me:The kissing?

Blake:*stares* The getting together part.

Blake:No kissing.

Me:We’ll see.

Me:I’ll pick you up at seven?

Blake:Pick me up? Is this a…

Me:Date? No, not if you don’t want it to be. I just think it might be nice to take a drive and visit somewhere.

Blake:Okay. I can do that.

Blake:Seven is good.

Me:See you then.

Me:Oh, and Blake?

Blake:Yeah?

Me:I love you.

Blake:If you say so.

* * *

I rapmy knuckles against a door that used to be mine, and the feeling is so strange. This was once my sanctuary, and now it feels so foreign.

“Coming,” Blake calls.

But he doesn’t. I don’t hear his footfalls or shuffling. There’s nothing happening behind that door.

I gently push it open and slide inside.

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, head bent and stuffed between his hands.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

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