Page 10 of Can't Text This

He nods and cracks it open, taking a drink.

“Is Uncle Zach dying?” Xavie calls out from the living room.

“We hope so! I think I’m in his will.”

“Yay, money!”

Laughter bursts out of Zach and water covers the counter.

“What in the hell are you teaching your child?”

I shrug, grabbing a new towel and cleaning up the mess. “I don’t know where he gets that shit.”

“Uh huh.” He takes another drink. “Okay, now details. I need details.”

I rest against the counter and lean his way so we can talk quietly without little ears hearing all this.

“I got her with a one-liner, man. We clicked, she said she wanted to kiss me, I took her into the bathroom, and…yeah. Shit happened.”

Zach squints. “What does ‘shit happened’ mean exactly?”

“It means…” I can still remember the way her legs quivered around my waist as she came, the way she squeezed her eyes shut—all of it. Can’t get it out of my head. “It means we, you know, fooled around.”

He peers over his shoulder, eyes darting to the living room to make sure Xavie isn’t within earshot. When he turns back to me, he mimics a blow job.

I crack up laughing and shake my head no.

Then he sticks his tongue out, moving it around in a chaotic fashion. It’s disgusting and hilarious all at once.

“If that’syourversion of what I think it is, I feel bad for Delia.”

He grins. “Nah, she loves it—but is that the ‘shit’ that happened?”

“No.” I lift my hand and wiggle my fingers his way.

“You fisted her?” His ass comes off the seat as he whisper-yells the question, now leaning over the counter just inches from my face, mouth slackened and eyes wide.

I shake my head in disbelief, laughing as I smash my hand to his face and push him away.

“I cannot believe I’m friends with you. No, you moron.”

“Oh.” He sits back down, brows squished together in concentration. Then it clicks. “Oh! Finger-banging, huh? That makes more sense than fisting on the first date.”

“Or fisting ever.”

He gets this wistful look about him. “I remember one time with Delia—”

“Nope. No. Not hearing about you two fisting.”

“No, not fisting. Fing—”

“Still not hearing it.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. What’s going on then? Why are you bringing this up now? We’ve been at work together all week and you’re only just now talking about it. What gives?”

“Because I’ve woken up with a hard cock every fucking day since it happened. After she came all over me, she bailed.”

“And you’re all hung up because you didn’t get your rocks off?”

---