Page 103 of Can't Text This

Monty:I’m not.

Monty:Fine, I am, but only a little.

Monty:I am also very jealous because she’s the best little snuggle bunny ever.

Me:I see what you did there.

Monty:Good. Now go work.

Me:Yes, ma’am.

Me:Oooh, I kind of liked saying that.

Monty:We are NOT adding that to our bedroom happenings.

Me:We’ll see.

* * *

Monty:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Monty:Does this outfit say “authoritative but fun”?

Me:Pretty sure that one says, “Fuck me”.

Monty:It does not! It’s a floor-length skirt and a blazer!

Me:What? I have a problem when it comes to you and your old granny clothes. They’re so hot!

Monty:Stop hitting on me and help! I need an outfit for my first day.

Me:Just so we’re clear, I will never NOT hit on you.

Me:But, yes, that’s a good first day outfit.

Me:Now stop freaking out. You’re going to do great.

Monty:Just a few more days.

Me:Want me to give you a good dicking? That could help calm you down.

Monty:I cannot believe I’m going to say this but…YES, PLEASE!

Monty:When? Your lunch break? You get one of those, right?

Me:What have I turned you into?

Monty:YES. THAT. This is all your fault!

Me:I’ll gladly take the blame.

Me:You’re more than welcome to come to my place of employment, Monts. You can meet Zach.

Me:Wait, no—you’ll totally fall for him. I lied.

Monty:Darn! That was my plan all along: get you to invite me to your office so I can meet this swoony fella and fall for him instead.

Me:Delia would never let someone steal her main squeeze…most days.

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