Page 23 of Can't Text This

Me:Same one.

Monty:YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT WHAT WE DID?!

Me:Nooooooo, definitely not.

Monty:You’re lying. I don’t know how I know it via text, but you’re lying.

Me:Fine. You caught me.

Me:But can you blame me? Our time spent in the bathroom was HOT!

Monty:I told my sister.

Me:See? Now we’re even.

Monty:About this theory…

Me:Right. (You get me distracted so easily…) His theory is: we need to bang.

Monty:EXCUSE ME

Me:You read that correctly.

Monty:We need to “bang”. That’s his advice to you?

Me:Yes, and he’s a certified woman whisperer, so I trust him.

Me:Fun fact: he and his—as he’d want me to phrase this—live-in girlfriend met via texting.

Me:Good things can come from random encounters.

Monty:You’re advocating for us to bang?

Me:Yes.

Me:What do you say?

Monty:No.

Me:Hm. I didn’t see that coming.

Monty:YOU DID TOO!

Me:Fine. I did. But what do you say we get to know each other a bit and then see about the banging?

“You still texting her, man?”

I grin at my best friend. “Yeah. I brought up your banging idea.”

We’re in Zach’s basement, our old office, where a video game marathon is happening. Xavie liked the idea of spending time with Zach and Delia so much he demanded I drive him over here after camp was over for the day.

I gave in easily, only because I wanted Marshmallow snuggles.

The pygmy goat is the only one who likes me out of the three. Milk Chocolate and Graham Cracker snub me every time I try to get close, the little shits.

As if he knows I’m thinking about him being my favorite, Marshy snuggles into me closer, and I run my hand down his back.At least someone loves me.

“I wanna bang!”

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